George Osborne's "Project Merlin" to get banks lending to small companies has turned out to be as fictional as its mythical Celtic counterpart. While the banks blame "lack of demand" despite companies expiring on a daily basis for lack of cash flow, much of the money loaned out, it turns out, has actually been given to other banks in a merry-go-round intended to hide the truth and meet the Chancellor's "targets." We asked George Osborne, Minister For Protecting Banks, for his comments; "With the banking industry now taking a direct hand in politics - especially in Greece and Italy - and with the end of Democracy in Europe, there's not much I can do - especially if I'm to land a good job on the board of some bank when I'm finally chucked out of office. All I can really do is set ficticious targets for the banks to meet and then pat myself on the back when they apprently achieve them. It's simply good politics. In the meantime those small businesses that have filed for bankruptcy must take solace in the fact that they aren't too large to fail and applause the verdict of the market. After all its what most of these idiots voted for wasn't it?"
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