The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Cameron Takes Advantage Of The Eurozone Crisis.


While official recievers take control of Greece and Italy on behalf of the banking industry and Spain is nominated as the next target, David Cameron sees the end of democracy in Europe as an opportunity for the Tory Party. "Having seen off democracy here in Britain and in Europe now is the time to press home our advantage and really stick the knife in," he told our reporter. "There are now three governments in Europe that have no democratic legitimacy, including my own, and, with a little more effort, we can increase that number to four. With Spain in the bag Portugal and Eire will quickly follow and, with a bit of luck and a great deal of dodgy backroom dealing, we'll have the ultimate prize - France. Winston Churchill would be delighted. At last we will have revenge for the defeat inflicted by Germany on the rest of Europe in 1945 when they treacherously allowed democracy to win. We're looking forward to next year when the Republican party takes over in the United States and, with good old Putin back in the Kremlin, we have the full set. I am determined to make the world safe for banker's bonuses and won't rest until I see the working class back where they belong - in the workhouse."

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