The Tories have today announced that the public sector strikes set for November 30th will cost the country £500 million. We asked George Osborne to explain where these figures came from. "We took the figure that we made up to explain how the Royal Wedding slowed the economy during the summer and doubled it. That came to nearly ten pounds and we decided that wasn't good enough so we took the figure we've spent on tickets for the Olympics to entertain our rich pals and cut that by a third. That seemed more like it so we went with that. Economics is not an exact science, you have to realise, which means that amateurs like me have plenty of room to inject as much fantasy as we like. That's why mass unemployment costs hardly anything and bombing Libya was a mere bagatel while one day's strike is an economic disaster of untrammeled proportion. Ordinary working people trying to protect themselves against the Tory party is an absolute evil that must be stopped at all costs. The economic survival of the country pales into insignificance when compared to the survival of me and my mates in government."
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