Danny Alexander, pictured above, announced to the Commons today that an agreement had been reached with the unions over public sector pensions. Unfortunately half the unions involved denied that they'd agreed and the other half withdrew from it when Eric Pickles sent a letter changing the principles. We asked a Tory spokesperson for the party's reaction; "We almost had the unions blindsided but bloody Eric Pickles queered the pitch by sending them a letter outlining the nasty changes we intended to make without their knowledge. I mean, how can a Tory government be slippery and underhand if its own members can't remember the rules? We had no choice but to withdraw the letter when the press got hold of it and we're now back to square one. I suppose we'll just have to find some other way of fooling the public into believing its all the unions fault now. Still, stealing other people's money was never easy."
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