With apologies to Patrick Stewart pictured above as Ebenezer Scrooge, the "News In Shorts" would like to wish all its readers a merry Christmas and a happy new year and to report on the celebrations enjoyed by the Tory party this year. They are reported to be besides themselves with seasonal joy at the news that Britain's cost of borrowing briefly fell below 2% yesterday - the lowest cost of borrowing since Queen Victoria sat on the throne. We asked George Osbourne for his reaction; "This is wonderful news and means that rich people, like myself, are able to borrow huge amounts of money to increase our fortunes with foreign investments. And its all been so easy! All I had to do was throw everyone else in the country out of work and bring economic activity to almost a complete stop. It's wonderful how the finance industry rewards those who embrace stagnation and prove the old adage that having no economy at all is the wisest choice." We asked the Chancellor for a few words of kndness to those who are having to shoulder the burden for all this bounty - the poor; "Are there no prisons, are there no workhouses. If they must die for my benefit, then they would best do it quickly and reduce the surplus population. But I would like to wish the whole country a "bah, humbug" and a impoverished new year."
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