The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

The Party's Over


The bunting has been taken down, the empty champagne bottles have been cleared away and the stale cake has been binned. After celebrating the weekend away over its victory in Europe and recovering from the hangover on Monday, the Tory party is now taking what President Woodrow Wilson once called "the sober second thought." Today we have Vince Cable trailing his coat tails around the TV studious trying to limit the damage to the coalition while Ken Clarke has been keen to point out that nothing has actually changed as far as Britain and Europe is concerned. Meanwhile Europe is ignoring Britain completely, treating it like its already out of the EU. Embarassed and totally out of his depth, David Cameron is wandering around trying to understand what, if anything, he actually did in Brussels and desperately trying to explain to possible foreign investors that its "business as usual." We asked our political editor for an analysis; "The Tories have no idea what they've done and have no idea what the results, if any, are likely to be. They have paid no attention to what Cameron's action would do to the Coalition, what effect it would have in Europe or what foreign investors would make of it all. As such it was a prime example of a typical Tory policy - a kneejerk reaction prompted by an unthinking prejudice with no idea whatsoever of what the consequencies would be. Way to go Cameron!"

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