In an unprcedented and vicious attack on his Tory coalition partners Vince Cable has announced today that he won't be sending them Christmas cards; "This will teach them a very severe lesson," he told our reporter. "Having caved in on almost every policy and abandoning every principle I've ever had I don't think this retaliation is too strong. People have suggested that I have been cowardly and craven in my dealings with the Tories, but this will show the lengths to which I am willing to go to stand up to them. I've already crossed David Cameron and George Osborne off my birthday card list as well and am now thinking about crossing out Eric Pickles and Andrew Lansley." We asked a Tory party spokesman for his reaction to Mr.Cable's action; "Who? Oh him. He's already sold his soul to us so I don't suppose the odd Christmas card is either here nor there. Silly old fart."
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