The Tories have decided to give the nation a early Christmas present and reveal where our next war is going to be - Somalia. We asked William Hague for his view; "We had a look around for somewhere new to deploy our nice shiny toys and decided on Somalia. We had considered Iran but the Americans aren't that keen and our generals insisted that a war there might make our toys dirty. So, in the end we went for Somalia. This has several advantages. No one really likes the Somalis what with all their piracy, kidnapping and whatnot. They don't have any real allies and haven't got a government as such to confuse things. It hasn't got any oil which is a distinct disadvantage but it does lie in an important strategic area for the transportation of it so it scores a few browny points there. The population is small and scattered so we shouldn't get too many distressing reports about killing civilians. The most important thing really is that they're poorly armed and have no real means of fighting us off, so its green lights all the way!"
No comments:
Post a Comment