John Boehner, the Republican House Speaker, has signalled his capitulation in the row over tax breaks for ordinary working people. "It goes against the grain to give the American people something without getting something for myself," he told our reporter, "but I had to give in when fellow Republicans pointed out that next year is the Presidential election. I'd forgotten all about it to be honest. I was hoping to get a tax break for Congressmen who's initials are "J.B" but the commie Democratic rats wouldn't wear it. What we need in this country is a President who works in my best interests since that is identical, in my opinion, with the national interest. I see myself as a truly great American, I'm rich, have nice shiny white teeth and and a fabulous tan but, more importantly, I hate anyone who hasn't got as much money as me. It also a well known fact that nearly everyone else in the USA apart from me is a closet communist and my mission to save them all from themselves before their selfishness deprives me of another dollar."
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