Plans Unveiled To Turn Giant's Causeway Into A Golf Course.

An American developer has unveiled plans to turn the Giant's Causeway in County Antrim, pictured above, into a golf course. The plan, which has some backing from clinically insane politicians in Northern Ireland, is the brainchild of Alistair Hanna. We asked Mr.Hanna for his view; "I think that the Giant's Causeway is a national asset that is much underused. I have a vision of millions of golf balls "pinging" off the cloumns there - it will make for a fiedishly difficult 18 holes I can tell you. However, my idea should not be judged in isolation but should be seen in the light of several other ideas I have to revitalise the economy of Britain. These include turning Stonehenge into a roller skating rink, Hadrian's Wall into the world's longest bowling alley and the Tower of London into a giant squash court." We asked the National Trust for their reaction but they were unable to comment due to a mass attack of apoplexy. A Tory party spokesman was willing to make a few comments however; "We believe that this idea has a great deal of merit - especially as it has just the right amount of elitism in it. We are less impressed with Mr.Hanna's ideas concerning Stonehenge and Hadrian's Wall since the projected leisure activities there are somewhat lower class. We are, however, in negotiations with Mr.Hanna to convert our Jobcentres into betting offices and gambling arcades which we feel is more appropriate."