Police are investigating the shocking revelation that the Tory party is actually controlled by criminal gangs. A close examination of the £2.8 million in "donations" to the party reveals that 60% of that money was given by finance, hedge funds and property developers - those who were responsible for the economic meltdown in 2008. We asked a Tory insider for the party view; "We are very grateful for these donations from our partners in crime and that their reckless and selfish mishandling of international finance has given us the opportunity to wreek revenge on the working classes in Britain. There is nothing illegal about this, even though it should be, and we are determined to continue our backwards progress to the late 18th century. In return we have ignored all calls to regulate the banks, close tax loopholes for our rich mates and are willing to risk economic meltdown in Europe to prevent any international control of their behaviour. This is Tory heaven and we intend to make the most of it."
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