Nick Clegg To The Rescue.

"When you're in the soft stuff and are surrounded by enemies who want to tear you to pieces try to look as if you know what you're doing," is the advice that Nick Clegg recently received from one of his £1 million spin doctors. With the picture above to inspire him Nick has gone on the offensive to try an save his pathetic political career. "We have pulled Britain back from the brink," he confidently asserts, while failing to explain how pushing unemployment towards 3 million, increasing the national debt, utterly destroying business confidence and pushing the country into another recession constitutes success. With 23 people now chasing each job, he also claimed that it was the LibDems who were making the Tories help people and make life "fairer and easier." Then, in a blatant piece of self-deception, he also claimed that it was because of the LibDems that so much progress had been made in controlling the banks - presumably referring to Cameron's "veto" when he refused to sign up to a European treaty on the basis that it threatened banking interests. We asked a LibDem spokesperson for his view; "Oh God, this will never work. Everyone knows that Nick has led us into a blind ally and sold out every principle we once pretended to hold. Now he's reduced to making announcements that would delight Kim Jong-Il, who was a paragon of truth and virtue compared to this loser. We're boned."