Tories Want "Hitler Youth" In Schools.

Dr Elizabeth Sidwell, the former chief executive of the Haberdasher's Aske's Federation and, by Tory standards, an expert on anything she wants to pontificate about, has advised that all schools should have a military cadet force. "I believe that teaching youngsters to march up and down and obey orders without question will best fit our children for the world we want to create," she told our reporter. "There has been far too much emphasis on teaching children to think for themselves and not enough on blind obedience. I mean how will we get them into the trenches again if we need to? They can have rousing unit names likes "The Thatcher Panzer Grenadiers" and "Cameron's Kamikazi Brigade," march around with regimental colours with campaign honours such as "The Battle of the Welsh Mines" and "The Battle To Undermine The NHS." Nor do I believe that children from poorer backgrounds can't match the achievements of the better off. Admitedly children of richer parents are inherently superior and I wouldn't send my children or grandchildren to an inner city comprehensive, but that's no excuse is it? No, I think the solution is for my cadets to form firing squads and execute any pupil who won't do as he or she is told. The girls can embroider the shrouds."