While George Osborne continues to live in a trance, Britain's national debt has now risen to £1 trillion - the highest ever recorded - while government spending has fallen by a less than spectacular 0.9%. We asked the man rumoured to be the Chancellor of the Exchequer for his view; "These figures are fantastic and show quite conclusively that my strategy is working. Three million unemployed and a national debt higher than it was during the Napoleonic Wars, World War I and World War II combined is a price worth paying - especially if, like me, you're not the one doing the paying. The main thing is that we're moving in the right direction - towards further deregulation, the privatisation of the NHS, mass unemployment and the end of democracy. Now this is not the end, it is not even in sight of the end, but it is, perhaps, the end of Britain as we've known it. We have a tough struggle ahead of us - or at least you have - but I am confident that, with the help of a double-dip recession, we will at least reach the promised land where I can continue to do as I like while getting even richer and you get to do as you're told while getting ever poorer."
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