House Of Lords Gives The Coalition A Good Kicking.

In an unprecedented show of utter disgust a combination of Labour and crossbench peers have handed the Coalition three successive defeats on its Welfare Reform Bill. While LibDem peers shuffled shamefacedly into the government lobby and Tory peers did their best to uphold the nasty party traditions, more than half of the Lords signaled that they could not stomach this attempt to make the poor and disabled pay for the insanity of greedy bankers. We asked a Coalition spokesperson for the government's reaction; "Who would credit it? Don't these people realise that their privileged place in society means that they have a responsibility to strip the poor and disabled of every last shred of humanity in order to protect rich people like me? We should have stuffed the lords full of bankers - that would have done the trick. I've heard that scientists in America have replaced their lab rats with bankers during their experiments because there are some things that even rats won't do. I mean, if we can't pick on the poor and disabled who can we pick on? People have to realise that if we can't successfully grind such useless people underfoot and take away all their means of support we'll have to raise the taxes of those with enough money to pay them. And we all know what that means - rich people like me having to forego a bottle of brandy each week or something equally unacceptable like that. My God, I might have to cancel the Rolls Royce for my sixteen year old daughter at this rate! I suppose this will mean we'll have to bring forward our plans to flog off the NHS and make all orphans sell their shoes."