Lansley Runs For Cover.

In the wake of public outrage, opposition from medical professionals and Tory bankbench terror Andrew Lansley has begun the long and painful road to political oblivion. Having turned from fat cat to cowardly lion overnight Lansley is being forced to maintain his responsibility for providing a comprehensive healthcare system and limit his desire to see the NHS privatised. We asked Lansley for his view; "This is not a defeat. It is merely a tactical retreat in the face of misguided opposition and the political back-stabbing of my enemies. My plan to flog off the NHS has been thwarted by people who simply don't understand the advantages of placing their health and well-being into the hands of sympathetic businessmen whose only motive is to help others - or at least themselves. I simply cannot understand why the opposition of thousands of doctors and nurses outweighs the support I received yesterday from the 56 doctors who hoped to cash in. Nor do I understand why I have been forced to bow to democratic opposition at a time when I thought that democracy had been suspended. Still, we Tories have honoured our pledge not to undertake a top-down reorganisation of the NHS and have proven that it is safe in our hands - especially after we've failed to put it into our pockets. But, as I said to one of my constituents who has cancer the other day, never say die. I'm sure that with all the ammendments to the bill heading my way I'll still be able to slip something really nasty through without anyone noticing."