Since the Coalition mounted a campaign against the disabled 31 people in Scotland alone have died waiting for an appeal against having their benefits disallowed. We asked a Tory spokesperson for the party's reaction; "Yes, we're very pleased that our campaign to free up more parking spaces at Sainsbury's is progressing so well. We only have figures for Scotland at the moment but fully expect that the figures for the rest of the country will be just as good. We've totted up the savings so far and think we now have enough for a few round of drinks in the bar. Mind you that's only because we don't pay duty on booze being MP's and all. By this time next week we think we'll have enough for cigars as well. Of course we have the utmost sympathy for those who have sacrificed their lives for us but that's what ordinary people are for isn't it? Having targetted the disabled and widows we're thinking of having a go at orphans next. They cost a small fortune you know and can't be forced into work because of human rights legislation. Still, its early days yet - we still have another three years to go."
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