In order to assure his image as the "people's Prime Minister," David Cameron has pledged to keep the bonuses awarded to executives in publicly owned banks to a minimum. The "minimum," apparently amounts to more money than most people can earn in a lifetime but, the part-time PM assures us, it is "considerably less than last year" when the RBS Chief Executive, Stephen Hester, was awarded a staggering £2.4 million. We asked David Cameron whether this was an example of his "responsible capitalism"; "Absolutely. I'm responsible for good old Steve getting a million pounds of taxpayers money and he is responsible for stuffing it into his pocket. I am still very much against "crony-capitalism" as long as it doesn't include my cronies and he thoroughly deserves the money for losing yet more taxpayers money while maintaining the fiction that he knows what he's doing. You must realise that we have to pay such high renumeration in order to attract the calibre of greedy, selfish and second-rate morons that the banking industry relies on. Only last week Stephen was threatening to up stakes and leave the country after being head-hunted by the Russian Mafia. It was only after I pointed out to him that failure at RBS means getting the equivelant of a lottery win, while failure in Russia means a bullet in the head, that he changed his mind - but it was a close thing and he only changed his mind when we upped the bonus."
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