Michael Gove, the Minister For Destroying Teacher's Morale pictured above, has suggested that, to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, we should all chip in to buy her a new boat. We asked Mr.Gove, an enthusiastic monarchist and well known creep, for his comments; "I believe that, in this time of great austerity when people are finding it hard to make ends meet and millions are being thrown out of work, we need to cheer people up by spending £60 million of their taxes to get the Queen a new yacht. Its obvious when you think about it and is almost certain to get me a gong or a knighthood or something. I also believe it will be good value for money since it will cut at least half an hour off the time it takes Her Maj to get to Australia. The Ministry of Defence is all for it since it will almost double the size of the Royal Navy overnight and we have the support of the Transport Ministry because it will fit in with their plans for a high speed train service reserved for the rich and important. The money won't be a problem - we can always find some more from defenceless cripples, poor children or widows. With the Olympics and the Jubilee this year its the perfect time to showcase the best of Britain and disguise the depressing truth."
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