Cuadrilla, a multinational oil and energy company, have unveiled their plans to turn Sussex into a polluted wasteland amid howls of protest from local communities. The company proposes to extract gas from beneath the county using a controversial method, known as "fracking," that pumps chemicals under great pressure into the water table. Similar operations in the United States have led to high levels of pollution, poisoned drinking water and even earthquakes. Similar effects have been felt in Lancashire, where another "fracking" operation has already seen Blackpool shaken by a series of earthquakes. It is no coincidence that at least three television series from the United States, "Battlestar Galactica," "Caprica" and "Terra Nova" use the work "fracking" as a substitute for a well known swear word. We asked a spokesperson from Cuadrilla for their view; "The adverse side effects from "fracking" have been greatly exagerrated and, in our experience, can be safely ignored without any threat to our profits. There have been a few cases of people being poisoned and dying horrible deaths and one or two people have been crushed to death by falling masonry during earthquakes, but we feel that's a price worth paying for progress - especially in the progress of our company's profits. We have consulted widely with experts who agree with us and have successfully fought off all opposition by ignoring it. We have found some difficulty in rolling out our plans in Sussex because of the number of Tory voters there - something that was less of a problem in Lancashire - but are confident that we've bribed the Tory party with enough money to overcome this. We are considerably more confident now that David Cameron has made it clear that his party's motto - "Greasing palms is next to Godliness" - will be upheld."
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