No less a source than the "Independant" has reported that the Tories, fearing a repeat of last year's rioting or, worse yet, ordinary people taking to the streets to thwart their criminal attempt to subvert democracy, are preparing to use internationally illegal nerve gasses against opposition. Exploiting a loophole in the international ban on such agents being used by the military, the Tories plan to use them for the "peaceful purpose" of gassing their fellow citizens - something even the Syrian's have yet to contemplate. We asked a Tory spokesperson for a comment; "There is nothing wrong with a British government doing something that even tyrants such as Gadaffi and Assad would baulk at. We reserve the right, as Tories, to do whatever we like. We've already sanctioned the use of live ammunition if we can't stop people from taking to the streets to oppose us and using nerve gas is only a short step up from that. We will put an end to the evil plot by the poor, unemployed and disabled to subvert the state and to their selfish destruction of the economy because of their uncontrolled greed."
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