Andrew Lansley, Minister For Denying Poor People Medical Care, has been revealed to be in the pay of the private healthcare company Care UK. The company handed over £21,000 to Lansley to "fund" his private office and "donated" £60,000 to the Tory party in 2009 alone. Meanwhile Lansley has also been responsible for witholding information from the public domain, despite rulings from the Information Commissioner, that details how his policy will cause "a surge in healthcare costs," that the extra costs involved in bringing in more private healthcare provision will make the NHS unafordable and that doctors in commissioning groups lack the financial expertise to run such businesses. We asked Mr.Lansley for his view; "I can't understand why I'm still getting all this opposition to my plan to cash in on the NHS. I've lied to the public, mislead parliament and witheld information, but people still insist on disagreeing with me. Personally I blame the doctors and nurses who have the arrogance to suggest they know more about healthcare than I do. They might know how to cure people and things like that but they nothing about running a profitable business and fleecing desperate customers - they still insist on calling them patients for instance. It's tragic - especially for my offshare bank accounts which are looking decidedly unhealthier than I'd like. The NHS is safe in my hands and will be even safer as far as I'm concerned when I've put a good wad of it into my back pocket. People simply can't get it through their thick heads that they are standing between me and my retirement fund - selfish bastards."
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