A4e Lands Lucrative Government Contract For Being Useless.

Emma Harrison, famous for founding one of the most successful useless companies in the world, has landed yet more multi-million pound government contracts despite having an "abysmal" record in the welfare to work scam. The turnover of A4e was between £160 and £180 million last year, while the company directors syphoned off £11 million for themselves with 87% going to Emma Harrison herself. In return they managed to get a derisory 9% of their clients off benefits and into work despite promising to deliver 30%. The government's response has been that other providers have been just as useless and that A4e should therefore be given more contracts on the basis of only being averagely incompetent. We asked a Tory party spokesperson why they are wasting public money in this utterly cavalier way; "We've found the scheme to be very useful for shovelling tax payer's money into the pockets of our cronies who then, in turn, shovel some of it back into our pockets through party "donations." No self-respecting bunch of government spivs and conmen could possible pass up a chance like this to plunder the public purse while maintaing the fiction of legality. And, at the end of day, who suffers? Taxpayers who don't deserve any better and the unemployed who don't count. Why do you think we forced unemployment up in the first place?"