The Tories have appointed a multi-millionaire hedge fund manager, who has donated £2.3 million to them, as their new party treasurer. But, as he's very proud to tell everyone, if he's a city fatcat he is at least a Christian city fatcat. "I looked for something worthwhile to support," he told our reporter, "and hit on the Tory party for two reasons. First, of course, is their track record in giving people like me opportunities to avoid paying tax, but secondly it was because of their support for families. As a Christian I consider it my duty to encourage the continued existence of traditional family values amongst the peasants - especially if we can also push these families into the grinding poverty they deserve. My own family is very happy even though I've only got £100,000,000 in the bank. David Cameron is also a family man and, like me, believes that families are the foundation on which Britain is built. Of course, as any builder will tell you, foundations work best when they're buried deep underground and that's where I would like to see the vast majority of people in this country. But what really prompted my decision to bankroll the Tories was Ian Duncan Smith and his Centre for Social Justice. Ian is my kind of Christian - vicious and arrogant with a complete disregard for ordinary people - and his idea of "justice," that it can be bought by the rich and denied to the poor, is right up my street. Many people might say that I'm rather smug but, in fact, I'm too perfect for that. In fact I'm the most modest person I know."
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