RBS Executives Arrested For Tax Evasion.

Four executives and one former executive of the RBS banking group have been arrested in London and the Home Counties for tax evasion. We asked HMRC for details; "Well, let's just say that they aren't security guards or counter staff. All we can say is that they have been arrested in an ongoing investigation into the personal tax affairs of certain individuals." We asked an unnamed source from RBS for the bank's reaction; "As we've always maintained we have to pay vast bonuses to attract the right calibre of criminal. We believe that tax evasion should be encouraged to foster a sense of corporate solidarity and to hone the criminal instincts of our more outstandingly successful executives. Of course, this doesn't mean that the bank itself has done anything criminal - morally reprehensible yes, but never criminal." Meanwhile David Cameron has come under increasing pressure to bring the banks under control through regulation; "We see these arrests as demonstrating how effective present regulation already is," a spokesperson for No.10 told our reporter. "We feel that any further regulation, say to stop tax evasion from even being attempted, would mean that some of our wealthiest donators might get caught out and that would never do. At the moment there are enough tax loopholes to push an elephant through and that should be enough for any banking executive. We are toying with the idea of self-regulation along the lines of that in the media which has been such an outstanding success. In the meantime were are hoping to claw back at least some of the money lost because of tax evasion by punishing the unemployed and disabled by pretending they are all acroungers."