David Cameron's attempt to discover how happy we are has been expanded to include the meaning of life. We asked the part-time Prime Minister what is the meaning of this ridiculous index. "We already know that the answer is actually "42" but now we have to find what the question is. I had thought of building the world's greatest computer to find the question but decided against that because of the NHS computer cock-up. So I've decided to consult the collective cognitive abilities of the great British people - or the peasants as I like to call them. I am particularly proud of the four questions we've come up with; "Are you miserable enough yet?" "How can we make your life even more ghastly than it is now?" "What part of your life did we make intollerable yesterday?" and "What is the point of your insignificant life?" The findings so far have been most illuminating and I'm confident that we can make people in this country happier than they should be by making some other section of society even more miserable than they are. I am particularly proud of taking money off disabled children which has made the majority relieved that they are not a disabled child or that they don't have one in their family to cause them embarassment and financial hardship."
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