LibDem David Laws, who was sacked from the Coalition on account of being a thief, is to return to government. The Tories, recognising a man after their own heart, have welcomed the news and are looking forward to seeing his plans for ripping off poor people in support of the wealthy. "He is a great supporter of our deficit reduction plans," a leading Tory told our reporter, "and a tireless worker in making sure that his own deficit is paid for by the taxpayer. We realise that he might not be a popular choice - being a proven thief - but we see him as a steadfast ally in our master-plan to reduce the peasants to the level of poverty they deserve. We are hopeful that other known criminals will also be put back into the cabinet by David Cameron and that other bloke - er, whathisname - Nick Clegg. We need this calibre of man if the country is to prosper - well, at least the wealthy part which is the only one that counts." Other crooks, such as Baroness Warsi, will probably dropped in the forthcoming cabinet reshuffle because she's not sleazy enough but George Osborne, who is merely stupid, is expected the keep his job. Andrew Lansley, widely expected to wind up in prison after stealing the NHS, will also probably keep his job after David Cameron failed to find anyone, other than Ian Duncan Smith, slimy enough to replace him. Ian Duncan Smith has been reported as refusing the brief when he was told he wouldn't be able to torture the disabled or keep all the money from the sale of the NHS.
No comments:
Post a Comment