Nick Clegg Tries To Claw His Way Back.

Nick Clegg, probably the worst turncoat in the history of British politics, has apparently had an epiphany and come to the conclusion that perhaps, after all, wealthy people should pay taxes too. Telling the "Guardian" that the recession is deeper than expected and has mysteriously turned into a double-dip variety for no apparent reason, he has suggested that perhaps rich people should pay tax in the interests of "fairness". His colleagues in the LibDem party are reported to be astonished at his sudden conversion to the principle that we should "all be in this together" and it has been widely mooted that Nick might be trying to save his party, not to mention his reputation and career, before the next election. "This is an exciting development," a leading LibDem told the "News in Shorts". "Nick has finally realised that the only way to save the party at the next general election is to get his lies in good and early. We think that this initiative could become one of our flagship policies along with "no tuition fees for students". Meanwhile the Tory half of the firing squad that describes itself as a government showed its true colours when Chris Grayling, the Tory Minister for employment and notorious for the size of his property portfolio paid for by the taxpayer, announced that young Londoners would be forced to work for nothing. "I've looked at Nick's proposal," he told our reporter with a snigger,"and come to the conclusion that this is nothing more than the politics of envy. Rich people can't be taxed because they'll throw their toys out of the pram and move to Lichtenstein. We cannot kill the golden goose that refuses to lay any eggs. I for one would immediately upstakes and move to Belize in order to demonstrate my patriotism. The only way forward is less taxes for me and more for you - after all we are all in this together aren't we?"