Boris Ducks Responsibility.

Like David Cameron before him Boris Johnson has now ducked responsibility for the disaster that Brexit represents. Like all Tories when the going gets tough they bug off to protect their own reputations. But let's get this straight from the very beginning, it was David Cameron, the worse bungler this country has ever known, who started this idiocy. He did so to shut up his back benchers and cabinet colleagues in his own party and assure his position as leader of the Tories. He has succeeded in doing neither. At the same time he has threatened the very existence of the United Kingdom and of its economic well-being. Now, in true Tory style, Boris Johnson has ducked his responsibility in all this. Having thrown his weight into the Brexit campaign with his eye on the top job he has failed to secure that for himself. Two men, once friends, now united again in abject failure. Neither of them, despite their assurances, have the stomach for invoking Article 50 or for what will come afterwards. They have failed the country which has been sacrificed on the altar of their egos and ambition and don't have the courage to pick up the pieces. Now it will be left to either Theresa May, who doesn't believe in Brexit and voted to remain or Michael Gove who thinks that the problems of education in Britain can be solved by privatisation and sending each school a copy of the King James Bible (printed in Germany). The blame for what follows will sit squarely with the Tories though, without doubt, the Murdoch press is already cooking up stories to place the blame for this mess at Jeremy Corbyn's door.

Article 50: Who Will Push The Button?

So who will push the button and invoke Article 50? Not David Cameron obviously since he's resigning and has left it to the Brexiters. So it's down to Boris isn't it? Except that Boris is not keen to do so. Nor is Michael Gove who has decided to take a back seat and push Boris into the hot seat. So what's going on? Leadership of the Tory party is now toxic while the man who pushes the button will have to take responsibility for what comes next. Boris' solution is to negotiate a deal with the EU which will basically make no changes to the UK's position - a Brexit with no Brexit in it. The only ones urging that something must now happen are those who have absolutely no intention of taking responsibility for it like Nigel Farage and Liam Fox. It's easy to urge action when its not you who has to go over the top and capture no man's land. All that is clear is that the Tory party's civil war over the EU has spilled out into the country at large and they have led us into a blind ally with no exits, including exit from the EU, in sight. The UK is in imminent danger of ceasing to exist as Scotland now looks set to leave and with Northern Ireland also in danger of following suit. The economy is continuing its slide towards oblivion with more money being lost on the stock exchange in three days than the UK would give to the EU in 20 years. The Pound is also sliding remorselessly downwards against every currency in the world. Meanwhile thugs are appearing on streets throughout the country yelling at any foreigner they can find, "We won, now get out of our country". This is not simply a political crisis, it is also an economic and social crisis and the genie is well and truly out of the bottle. Whether we leave the EU or not there is no going back. Britain has now seen itself in the mirror and the reflected image is not a pretty one. Bigoted, isolated and increasingly irrelevant in world terms where do we go from here?

The Political Vacuum.

So where is everyone? Since the EU referendum the Tory party, both leavers and remainers, have literally gone to earth and cannot be found with radar. Where is the leadership? Where are David Cameron and George Osborne? Where are Boris Johnson and Michael Gove? Nigel Farage is still in evidence trying to hide the fact that two years ago he was demanding that if the referendum was too close, 52% to 48% say, and he was on the losing side then another referendum should be held. Perhaps they hope that the so-called coup against Jeremy Corbyn, a story that the right-wing press is clinging to with desperation, might deflect attention from the utter mess the Tory party has left the country in. Then there is the elephant in the room. The UK is a representative democracy and not a direct democracy. Referendums are advisory only and have no binding legal force. Parliament is sovereign and it can overturn the utter folly of the UK leaving the EU. But for that we need leadership and a Parliament with a spine instead of a Parliament with nothing more than MP's addicted to filling their pockets with expenses and hiding their money in offshore accounts. The Leave campaign has now been exposed as a catalogue of lies, evasions and deceptions. There will be no extra money for the NHS, immigration will not be curbed and the free movement of people across Europe is to be retained. Nothing they promised will come about, so why should these snakeoil salesmen we allowed to reap the benefits of their confidence trick?

Cameron: "I could have handled the tax row better"

"I could have handled the tax row better," David Cameron told a Tory party forum today. Actually no Prime Minister you could have told the truth instead. Even now Cameron is being less than candid as it is revealed that his father was responsible for not one, not two, but at least three tax dodging wheezes that kept him and his family out of any tax bracket for the last 30 years. While the PM, his wife and his children might not benefit from any such scheme "in the future" it remains pretty well certain that he and they profited mightily from them in the past. What is immoral for the goose is immoral for the gander as Jimmy Carr might well observe. It remains difficult, however, to shame a Tory Prime Minister since Tories have no sense of shame and measure everything by what they can get away with. What this does reveal is how rotten the whole financial structure of Britain has become. We should not be surprised that sleaze still exudes from every financial orifice considering that the whole stinking pile was first heaped up by the Thatcher government, was patiently tilled by the Blairite Labour party and has continued to fester under Cameron. You would need a very bad sense of smell today not to notice it.

How Much Can Cameron Get Away With?

So it comes down to this - what can Cameron admit and still get away with it? So far he has admitted that he sold his shares in his father's offshore investment fund for a mere £30,000. Loose change for Cameron and, he hopes, not too big an amount for the plebs to swallow. Of course this ignores his wife's nice little earner for being a "consultant" for Smythson's - a company that is based, for tax purposes, in a tax haven. This might explain why the Cameron's spend so much time out of the country as she commutes to her job every Monday morning. It ignores the fact that Cameron's father paid no tax in the UK for 30 years as his son was being educated at Eton and Oxford University. It also fails to address the question of George Osborne's financial affairs which remain completely opaque while he refuses to speak on the matter. Worse yet, there is no explanation as to why both Cameron and Osborne have consistently opposed any attempt by the EU to shed light on tax avoidance by the rich and greedy. Cameron once described Jimmy Carr's financial dealings as "immoral". Was Cameron's father immoral then? Apparently not for, according to Cameron, he remains "proud of my dad and what he did and the business he established and all the rest of it." Double standards? Why not, after all there is one law for them and another for the rest of us. This, of all the begrudging statements given by Cameron over the last few days, comes as close as we are likely to get to his mindset. Good at pointing the finger at others he doesn't like it much when others point at him and his immoral family.

Cameron, Osborne And The Panama Papers.

The Panama Papers have been described as the biggest leak in history and it shows us all exactly what our leaders think of us. We are here to pay taxes while they are here to avoid them. Asked about their connection to tax-dodging and money laundering the answers that both David Cameron and George Osborne gave are more illuminating for what they didn't say rather than from what they did say. After three previous attempts to divert public outrage Cameron finally said that he and his family would not benefit from such underhand tactics "in the future." Which, of course, rather begs the question about what he and his family were doing up until today. Osborne's answer was even more illuminating. He said nothing and immediately terminated an interview during which the question was asked. This seems to suggest that Osborne has no defence of any kind to offer. Hardly surprising since his family business, despite healthy profits, has not paid tax in the UK for a decade. While they have been forcing austerity down our reluctant throats Cameron and Osborne have been profiting at our expense. Austerity, so crucial to Britain's economic survival, does not apply to them or their rich mates. They are exempt, they have a get out of jail free card. There is one law for us and another for them. Now do you get it?

The Panama Papers.

So what do the Panama Papers actually tell us? That the wealthy, the greedy and the selfish have been lying to us and have expertly avoided their responsibility to the societies that have supported them? We already knew that, even if we've allowed ourselves to be blind-sided by these reptiles. We have stood by as they have pedaled their lies about austerity like the fools they always took us to be and allowed ourselves to be diverted into hating the under-privileged while they returned the world back to the cesspit it was before 2008. These people, it must be said, are experts at the long-con, but we saw that revealed in 2008 and yet we still allowed them to get away with it and, to our shame, allowed them to set the whole thing in motion once again. We were taught our lesson in 2008 and we then promptly forgot it. In the UK 37% of the population were so stupid that voted into power the most rapacious, vile and utterly ruthless bunch of conmen they could find. The Tory party has condemned hundreds of thousands of our fellow citizens to lives without hope and have scapegoated the most vulnerable in our society simply to cover their own tracks. They have stolen money from the poorest in our country in order to reward themselves and their rich mates with nice juicy tax cuts. They have told the disabled that they deserve to lose £30 a week even as their rich mates greased their palms. Now their two-faced treachery has been laid bare for all to see. And what was the response of our Prime Minister? Contrition? Guilt? Embarrassment? No, he simply told us that his family's part in this grubby affair was "private business". Private business? Not any more it isn't. As the great Roman poet Horace once told us; "A word once let out of the cage cannot be whistled back again." Well, maybe not twice.

Tories Hit The Real Hard Workers Again.

Following David Cameron's Easter message of "all standing together" his best mate, George Osborne, has once again put his hand into the pockets of hard working people and grabbed enough cash to give a nice bonus to their rich mates. A hike in national insurance which comes into force today will snatch up to £40 a month from ordinary working people so that Tory fat cats can buy new yachts, cars and holidays in Lanzerote. Most of the burden will fall on public sector workers (not MP's of course) who paid a lower rate of national insurance to encourage them to invest in public sector pensions. This advantage has now been removed, negating much of the reason for taking out the public sector pension in the first place. In other words the whole thing has been a turned into a giant scam with the only real beneficiaries being the already wealthy scroungers who infest this country. This is what David Cameron means by "standing together" - we stand while the fat cats loll about and help themselves to our money. However, no one can say that Osborne's economic policy is not working. Billions of pounds have been transferred from the poor to the wealthy over the last six years while the national debt has ballooned to £1.3 trillion. None of this matters of course since the poor are undeserving and the rich fat cats who bankroll the Tory party will never have to pay off the national debt - paying taxes is only for the little people after all. Meanwhile the Tories are busy wringing their hands over the British steel industry even as they block attempts by the EU to stop the Chinese dumping cheap steel on us all. The reason for doing this? Because national security comes a distant second to the financial well-being of the Tory's best mates, the bone-idle rich, who bankroll the criminal and treasonous enterprise that they like to describe as a "government".

Tories Lecture The Plebs On Raising Children.

The Prime Minister has decided that the time is right to lecture us all on child rearing since we obviously aren't very good at it. In fact we are so bad that he believes, after knocking down working-class housing estates and replacing them with "affordable housing" that only millionaires can afford, we should all be permanently tutored in how to do it. This from a man who spent his time at school indulging in bizarre initiation rituals, smoking pot and snorting cocaine, trashing restaurants and pubs and burning fifty pound notes in front of homeless people. He is obviously speaking from experience since his parents must have been utter rubbish at child rearing. What Cameron has failed to say is that his comments refer only to ordinary people and not the psychopaths that make up the ruling elite in Britain. Essentially he is telling us that we should all do as our "betters" tell us while the authoritarian and draconian rules he would like to impose on us don't apply to him and his privileged pals. At the same time he is telling us that poverty will disappear overnight if we would simply do as we are bid while earning a decent wage has absolutely nothing to do with it. People suffering from cancer whose benefits are cut, single people being taxed for having the sheer nerve to have more than one bedroom and the disabled who simply refuse to do their civic duty and commit suicide would all benefit, Cameron lectures us, from having a nice, dutiful and obedient family. Essentially this is nothing more than than the authoritarian, paternalistic drivel which the Tories excel in. Poverty is not caused by "bad" families. It is caused by inequality and the low wage economy that the Tories want to foist on the rest of us in order to finance nice fat tax cuts for themselves. Cameron's idiotic ranting is simply another extension of the Tory narrative that tells us the poor are poor because they deserve it and that greed and selfishness are virtues. Instead of this nonsense he would be better occupied raising living standards instead of depressing them and building decent housing instead of handing us all over to slum landlords.

Dave's Christmas Hypocrisy.

David Cameron took some time off from his official duties making Britain as miserable as possible to lecture us all yet again on what he calls "Christian Values." "Throughout the United Kingdom" he wrote, "some will spend the festive period ill, homeless or alone." What he forgot to add was that he was absolutely dedicated to making sure that the ill, homeless and lonely would also be a whole lot poorer next year. While the latest figures show that the much-vaunted growth for the last six months have been largely fictional, borrowing is much higher than the Tories would have us believe and the national debt is ballooning at an unprecedented rate, the Tories have made sure that it is the poor, the sick and the disabled who will pick up the tab. Meanwhile Dave has spent the last week stroking the slightly bruised ego of Rupert Murdoch and assuring him that hacking a murdered girl's mobile is no reason to think himself un-Christian. "The message of Christianity is clear," Dave would have written if he was being uncharacteristically truthful. "God only likes rich people, which is why they are rich, and has nothing but contempt for the poor, which is why they are poor. It is true that the poor will inherit the Earth, but only after we've finished plundering it, while the meek might be blessed in a Biblical sense but, if I have anything to do with it, they will be well and truly shafted. The Welfare State needs to be replaced by the more up-to-date 19th century model of charity given to those poor people who know how beg properly. It's time for us to forget about poor people having rights, especially those ridiculous human rights, and to return to the great British and thoroughly Christian principle of throwing pennies to them and then sitting back to watch them scrabble about in the dirt. I urge all poor people to embrace Christianity as I have done because, if I have anything to do with it, many of you will be meeting your maker before next Christmas. Keep warm this winter so my mates who own the privatised utilities can remain wealthy, be productive so I can tax you and give my rich mates more tax loopholes, be generous to bankers (not that I'll give you any choice) and, most important of all, vote Tory in order to punish those feckless welfare scroungers who live next door. Oh, and keep reading the "Daily Mail" so my pal Rupert can feel that he's still important."

Why The National Debt Is £1.5 Trillion And Climbing.

So why is the British national debt £1.5 trillion, the highest its ever been, and why is it continuing to grow? Well to begin with a bunch of criminal bankers crashed the world economy and then had to be bailed out by the rest of us to prevent them losing their jobs and ending up in prison. Then we had to pay their bonuses so they could continue to enjoy their film star life styles and the banking industry could continue to attract the best criminals available. Of course to help finance all this charity work the Tories (with a helping hand from the Lib Dems) decided that the "scrounging" poor (especially low-paid, hard-working "scroungers" who get tax credits) had to contribute their fair share, so benefits have been slashed and public services starved of funds. These savings were actually only a drop in the ocean of debts that the bankers handed us but every little helps right? To prove that "we are all in this together" the Tories then gave themselves a nice big tax cut and let their rich corporate mates (especially the bankers) exploit various tax loopholes that have proven impossible to close (especially if you're not really trying). Now these benefits for the rich, unlike the benefits taken from the poor, are not a drop in the ocean. In fact they are many, many, many times bigger than the benefits squandered, according to the Tories, on "scroungers". Following so far? The problem for the Tories now is how to divide one national debt by those who don't have the money to pay it back and still end up with a small elite that are even richer than before? The answer, in case you haven't been taking enough notice, is to sell the entire country to the Chinese. And to make absolutely sure that someone like Jeremy Corbyn doesn't come along and muck all this up, the Tories are going to outlaw Keynsian economics, making it impossible for any future British government to invest in our own country and put up taxes for rich people in order to finance such an investment. According to the Tories borrowing money from our friends to finance social and economic improvements for the majority is bad, but borrowing money from our enemies to finance tax cuts for the rich is good. Now do you get it? No? Well, you just keep voting Tory because you will get it in the end - probably right in the neck.

Now Dave Knows How Labour Leaders Feel.

With Lord Ashcroft's accusations spread all over the tabloids David Cameron has today learned what it feels like to be a leader of the Labour party. Such musings as to why Jeremy Corbyn didn't sing "God save the Queen" and, perhaps with more relevancy, Ed Miliband's tussle with a bacon sandwich have suddenly become small beer compared with David Cameron putting his naughty bits into the mouth of a dead pig. Now "Call me Dave" is about to find out why truth is such a precious commodity when no one cares if something is true or not. The false accusations in the right wing press that Jeremy Corbyn described the death of Bin Laden as a "tragedy" were a deliberate slur calculated to damage his reputation. Now, with Lord Ashcroft's tales of Cameron at University, the boot is very firmly on the other foot. The story about the dead pig is so memorable and so funny that it really doesn't matter whether its true or not - the damage has been done and will probably never be undone. The Tories love to deal in lies, half-truths and scurrilous accusations. Now we can all sit back and enjoy watching them deal with this one already dubbed "Piggate". But the whole episode tells us something much more important than the truth or otherwise about Cameron's behaviour at University because it allows us a glimpse into the mind of a Tory like Lord Ashcroft. Annoyed that his bankrolling of the Tory party didn't lead to an undeserved job strutting about making himself look important, Ashcroft has turned on his erstwhile friend with appalling nastiness. Cameron shouldn't be surprised nor even disappointed since this is what Toryism is all about - spite, nastiness and stabbing others in the back. Cameron should instead take comfort in the fact that Ashcroft is merely acting in character and is simply doing what any Tory would do when his or her ambition and selfishness are thwarted. Nasty is the name of the game in Tory politics and Dave is now reaping his just reward for being so nasty to everyone else. In the immortal words of that great philosopher of Western culture, Bart Simpson, "Eat my shorts."

David Cameron's Naughty Bits.

Lord Ashcroft, understandably miffed because he didn't get a nice lucrative sinecure after bailing out the Tory party, has turned on David Cameron with a vengeance. He has decided to tell the rest of us all about Dave's high jinks when he was a student. Much of this must, of course, be regarded as sheer spite. I mean, what student hasn't put his naughty bits into the mouth of a dead pig for God's sake? Certainly such behaviour is par for the course amongst the Bullingdon set where study, as the Tory cabinet's grip on their various jobs demonstrates, came a distant second to behaving like a complete twat. Dave's experience as a student has served him well now he's Prime Minister. How else could a Tory toff gain the disdain necessary to lord it over the rest of us peasants and the grit necessary to be such a total swine? Did putting his naughty bits into the mouth of a dead pig give Dave a sexually transmitted disease the symptoms of which include becoming a swine? Is this how all Tories become swine? Is that how Lord Ashcroft become a swine and a Tory? It would explain a great deal about the party in general and its members in particular. The question is can Dave survive this onslaught on his character? The answer, if the Tory party has anything to do with it, is a resounding "yes" since it has little interest in character and regards swinish behaviour as the main, if not the only, qualification for the job of Tory Prime Minister. But what about the rest of us? Is having a Prime Minister with a penchant for Necrobeastiality good for the country? Will other world leaders snigger behind his back? Are any animals, living or dead, safe in his presence? I'll never be able to enjoy a bacon sandwich in the same way again.

Cameron Pledges To End The Welfare "Merry-Go-Round"

David Cameron struck his favourite "holier-than-thou" pose today and promised to end the "welfare merry-go-round." "It's ridiculous," our intrepid leader lectured, "that poor people keep getting something for nothing paid for by the taxpayer. I propose, therefore, to end the tax credit system so that the low paid can take pride once again in their poverty and rich people like me can get a tax cut. There are too many bone idle people in this country working every hour God sends for a pittance and expecting rich people like me to be grateful. Well let me tell you we're not. If the poor are too stupid to negotiate higher wages without the benefit of trade unions, then they deserve to be poor. They should take a leaf out of my book and vote themselves a pay rise when they need to buy another London mansion. If you're going to rely on state handouts then you should at least make a good fist of it and scrounge enough to send your kids to Eton, form yourself into a political party to pass laws that favour you and make you rich enough to lecture everyone else about being feckless. I didn't get where I am today by letting the grass grow under my feet - you have to be fast on your feet to make the kind of money I do for doing sod all. It is my mission to recreate the poverty that made this country great and the kind of unfair society that this country deserves. To get the ball rolling I have also decided to spend several billions refurbishing the Houses of Parliament so that hard-working, tax dodging and expense fiddling MP's can continue to pretend that we're all still living in the 14th century. Britain can only move forwards by looking backwards and can only guarantee a prosperous future by encouraging more poverty."

It's Official - Britain Is No Longer Civilized.

David Cameron has won the general election with a majority of 12. The man who gave us an economic recovery indistinguishable from the recession, who has hounded the weak, the disadvantaged and the disabled, the man who has rewarded the undeserving rich with yet more riches, the man who has all but destroyed the NHS, the man who imposed the bedroom tax and encouraged yet further growth in the number of slum landlords, the man who told us that he would put an end to uncontrolled immigration and then failed to do so, has won the election and seen off all his political rivals. How? Primarily this seemingly bizarre result was the work of a right-wing press that mounted an effective propaganda campaign against the electorates own best interests at the behest of an insane old man who hates Britain - Rupert Murdoch. Second, David Cameron did a creditable impression of the invisible man and dodged all efforts to force him into an open debate so that we could see the vacuous nature and utter barrenness of his political beliefs. The campaign that the Tories mounted was the most negative in modern electoral history, relived only at the last minute with a series of "sweeteners" and promises that Cameron has absolutely no intention of honouring. How else could he possibly sell the idea of unending austerity - a long dark tunnel of despair for the majority with a light at its end promising only greater riches for an already pampered minority? The real villain, of course, is the British "first past the post" system which has allowed 37% of the voting population to impose a Tory government on the the majority of 63% who didn't vote for them at all. Whatever the reason for this disaster one thing is clear, Britain will now abandon all pretence that it is a civilized nation while the Tories mount an unremitting and vicious attack on the poor, sick and weak on behalf of the rich, greedy and selfish.

So Why Won't Dave Debate?

It's the burning political question of the day - why is David Cameron so afraid of a public televised debate? First and foremost, of course, is his record in government. How can Cameron answer when asked "Why are you allowing Iain Duncan Smith to kill British citizens for money simply because they are disabled?" The closest anyone has come to this is when Jeremy Paxman asked the PM about foodbanks. What was Cameron's answer? Evasion. Then there is the embarrassment of Grant Shapps. Why is the Tory election campaign being led by a confidence trickster who trades under the assumed name of Mike Green and then lies about it? Meanwhile the Tory campaign is firmly mired in the dirt with the spectacle of Afzal Armin trying to do a secret deal with the English Defence League to steal the election in Dudley and Ed Miliband being physically threatened by Tory activists in Rotherhithe. Faced with such questions that touch upon both his integrity and honesty it is hardly surprising that Cameron would shy away from a direct debate with the leader of the Labour party. Instead he has resorted to dirty tricks, name calling and false promises. The whole debate-ducking debacle was nothing more than a dirty trick in itself, designed the shield Cameron from direct questioning about his shameful record as PM. As an alternative Cameron offers empty accusations such as describing the Labour party as "hypocritical holier-than-thou, hopeless, sneering socialists”. What is this if not sneering? The Tories told us that they would not raise VAT and then promptly did it. They promised no "top-down reorganization" of the NHS and then did exactly that. What is that if not hypocrisy? And what is more holier-than-thou than pointing at the working poor, the unemployed, the sick and the disabled and telling them that they are nothing more than an expensive liability? As for being hopeless simply look at the state of the British economy which, despite Tory claims, is now geared to deliver only for the rich. The truth is that David Cameron is trying to hide from the electorate. A shifty, double-dealing conman with no possible way to defend his disgraceful premiership is hiding from you and me, hoping against hope that we won't notice his cowardice.

Devious Dave Dodges Debate.

David Cameron, according to Jacob Rees-Mogg speaking on Channel Four News, is avoiding a televised debate during the forthcoming election campaign because the media is full of "left-wing people". This might come as a shock to the Tory party but, after five years of their right-wing lunacy, so is the rest of the country. Most of us are used to the Tories avoiding debate of any kind and simply pursuing their insane slash-and-burn policies at the expense of everyone else, but it seems that the media and the other political parties are bemused by Cameron's complete refusal to engage in democratic debate. There are two very good reasons why they shouldn't be. First and foremost is that David Cameron, like all Tories, doesn't like democracy too much and would prefer to return to the good old 19th Century system of only allowing rich people to vote. Second, and far more important, is Cameron's reluctance to defend his record in government. Pretending that the country is recovering economically, that unemployment is down and that wages are now beginning to grow will only get you so far it seems - especially when none of these things are actually true. The reality - the explosion in the need for food banks, the shame of growing homelessness, an entire wasted generation (yet again), the cancer of zero-hour contract low-paid work, fewer policemen on the beat, fewer doctors and nurses, the lack of a credible defence, rising immigration, tax cuts for the rich and spending cuts for the poor, the selling of the country's assets to various organised crime syndicates, and the all too evident greed and selfishness of the Tory party - is difficult, if not impossible, to defend. Cameron's solution, it would seem, is not to bother while, at the same time, dangling carrots in front of the electorate that he has absolutely no intention of honouring after the election. To say, as much of the press and all of the opposing political parties are doing, that Cameron is "chicken" misses the point entirely. Cameron is no more "chicken" than any other confidence trickster, shyster or snake-oil salesman. Avoiding any meaningful debate about his disastrous premiership is simply part of his make up and stems from his insufferable upper-class arrogance and complete disconnect with the rest of us lesser mortals. The fact that the Tories have to wheel out the aristocratic (in his mind at least) Jacob Rees-Mogg of all people to defend themselves tells us all we need to know about the public school "Boys Own" London club that the Tory party have always wanted to be. The Tories are and always have been a complete disaster for this country. Masquerading as the friend of business they have always sought to undermine commerce by attacking the very basis of its success - demand. The Tories are no more interested in the capitalist system than was William the Conqueror, Ghengis Khan or Vlad the Impaler. Their vision is for a kind of updated 21st century feudalism in which the rich, greedy and selfish do as they please and the rest of us peasants gratefully tug at our forelocks.

Cameron: Why Children Should Be Taught To Be Greedy And Selfish.

David Cameron has been outlining his thoughts about the proper way to bring up children to the Institute of Directors Magazine. Children, he told the magazine, should be taught "how to turn a profit" in order to combat the evil "job killing regulations" coming out of the European Community. "The arts and science are as nothing when compared to making money," Cameron told our reporter when we quizzed him about his interview. "We must instill in our children a love of money above all else and rid them of any fanciful ideas that they might become astronauts, pop stars, painters, sculptors, novelists, scientists or, God forbid, charity workers. Its time we turned our children's eyes away from the stars and back to the gutter where I and my rich mates live. As for protecting the rights of ordinary working people, or the peasants as I like to call them, why bother? Anyone whose interests are not solely concerned with making money doesn't deserve any protection. Bankers, on the other hand, need all the protection we can give them whether its actually legal or not. Where would we all be if bankers had to answer for their criminal activity? The Tory party wouldn't exist for a start and that, as I'm sure you'll agree, would be a tragedy. Greed and selfishness are the core values we need to instill in children before they even start thinking about such rubbish as the meaning of life, what constitutes good and evil and what the future might hold. Once greed and selfishness have taken hold such questions become irrelevant. What is the meaning of life? Making a profit, obviously. What is good and evil? Good is being richer than your neighbour and evil is missing an opportunity to turn a decent profit out of someone else's misery. What does the future hold? More and more money - what else? The real strength of Tory philosophy is its "Can do - if I can get away with it" attitude and in its complete disregard for thinking instead of simply grabbing what you can. As Descartes once said; "I'm greedy, selfish and don't think too much, therefore I am."

Tories Unveil Plan To Solve NHS Problems.

Circle Holdings, the company that was the first to run an NHS hospital as a private concern, wants to withdraw from its contract because it is "no longer viable under current terms". In other words they cannot make a profit out of other people's misery unless they can get their sticky fingers on yet more tax payers money. The problem, Circle told the press, is that there are too many sick people wasting resources at Hinchingbrooke hospital. If only they could get rid of all the sick people, sack all the doctors and nurses and flog off all the medical equipment then tax payers money could go where it belongs - into the offshore bank accounts of Circle executives. The hospital itself has been put into special measures after it was revealed that the A&E department was being run so badly that patients were being put in danger while staffing levels were completely inadequate. Shocked by their revelations about the complete failure of a private company to run an NHS hospital David Cameron immediately swung into action and declared that, if he wins the next general election, then he will make it more difficult for public sector workers to go on strike. "The last thing this country needs," he told our reporter, "is doctors and nurses going on strike in protest at my complete mishandling of the NHS. Publicising the fact that private companies are not fit to run hospitals and are efficient only in diverting tax payers money into their own pockets is not in the national interest. People simply don't need to know this. It only makes them fearful and distrustful and I intend to come down heavily on anyone who spreads such despondency. What I want to see are patients cheerfully laying down their lives in dirty, underfunded and under-staffed A&E departments and declaring that is their patriotic duty to die for the greater good of the Tory party, the rich, the greedy and the over-privileged. Meanwhile doctors and nurses should get on with their job - providing profits for me and my rich mates to skim off the top. What else are doctors and nurses for?" Meanwhile the British public have remained completely apathetic since most of them don't work in the public sector and are content to work for starvation wages just as long as the unions are kept in check. "We don't want a return to the Winter of Discontent," one member of the public told our reporter. "I remember it only too well. There was garbage in the streets, pot holes appeared all over the roads and you couldn't get to see a doctor or a nurse. Ahhh - hang on a minute......"

The NHS: The Beginning Of The End?

A & E departments across the country are so hard pushed that they have little choice but to declare a major incident and introduce emergency measures in order to cope. Doctors and nurses are at breaking point, patients are waiting up to five hours outside hospitals in ambulances and the government is failing to reach even its own pathetic targets. The crisis facing the NHS this winter is unprecedented and is the culmination of five years of Tory ideology which has inflicted untold damage on the service and brought it to the brink of extinction. So what have the Tories got to say about all this? Nothing intelligible. Cameron has accused anyone asking questions about this mess of "using the NHS as a political football" - as if he hasn't. He has also accused sick people of clogging up the system by having the sheer nerve to be sick and old people having the sheer nerve to be old. Not one word about the disastrous top-down re-organisation that he, Andrew Lansley and Jeremy Hunt have pursued for the last five years. Not one word about the cuts to spending on the NHS over the last five years. Not one word about the destruction of morale amongst NHS employees over the last five years. Not one word about the destruction of those ancillary services that support the health care system and have now left the NHS exposed. Just more of the favoured Tory trick of blaming the victims. Nothing could demonstrate more clearly the commitment of the Tory party to their core principle of killing people for money. The cuts inflicted on the NHS are designed to provide tax cuts for the Tories and their rich mates. The so-called re-organisation is designed to allow the Tories and their rich mates to get their hands on billions in assets that are actually the property of you and me - the tax payer. This is what Tory ideology means on the ground - more money for them and more misery for the rest of us.