Ken Clarke, the Hermann Goering of the Coalition government, has been explaining why the Tories have morphed, once again, into a fairly convincing copy of the Nazi party. Claiming that the party has "accidently drifted" to the right because the facist element are "acting up again" he has taken the Britney Spears, "Oops, I did it again", stance. Maintaining that Cameron is a centre-right politician and fundamentally a decent man, he suggests that the PM is being forced into acts of sheer evil because he's being bullied by the right of the party. We now have a troika of excuses for the sheer brutality of this government - austerity, despite the largely self-inflicted nature of the recession, is "unavoidable" - the benefit system is "too generous" and allows the lazy and feckless to lead film star lifestyles - Cameron is a nice man forced to do nasty things because he's too weak and/or too stupid to do anything else. However, none of this explains why Cameron and his entire party, right, left or centre are congenital liars whose selfishness and greed know no bounds. We asked cuddly Ken for his view on that embarassing fact; "It's not our fault. Many in the party were born into privileged backgrounds, which is a great disability when you rely on the votes of ordinary people to keep you on the gravy train. Most of us struggle to communicate with the peasants because we know absolutely nothing about them or their lives and, of course, we have to fake giving a damn - at least for the duration of the election. Everyone knows that greed is good and, to indulge our insatiable need to spend money that doesn't belong to us, we are left with no choice but to lie. You should all feel sorry for us."
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