Cameron Surprised As The Peasants Fight Back.

After two-and-a-half years of punishing ordinary people for the criminal acts of bankers, forcing their incomes down and stealing their pensions, David Cameron has voiced his total disbelief that they might object or that they might fight back. "I don't understand why the unions are threatening to strike," he told our reporter as he inspected the latest delivery of wine for his cellar. "I've told them that there's no choice but to pauperise ordinary people, take their jobs away and steal their pensions but they don't seem to understand. The only way that we can save the best people in this country and, more importantly, their money, is for the peasants to accept that the recession is all their fault. While the banks were working day and night to improve things for all of us and sacrificing themselves for the common good, while corporate executives were working their fingers to the bone to create low-paid jobs, overpaid public sector workers and people pretending to have no legs were simply loafing about. I've heard of cases where people such as auxillary nurses and office cleaners have nearly enough money to feed themselves. There are useless cripples out there - I'm not talking about our magnificent Paralympic medal-winners by the way - who seem to think that losing the odd limb or contracting an incurable disease entitles them to an income that most people can only dream about. Meanwhile there are bankers, corporate executives and, more especially, hard working politicians in this country with barely enough money to keep their private jets flying and their modest 200 hundred foot yachts afloat. The trouble with union leaders is that are completely out of touch with reality."