Who The Hell Is A.A.Gill?

Over the last three weeks there has been a wonderful series of programmes entitled "Meet The Romans" on the BBC. It was hosted by the delightfully eccentric and very English lady Mary Beard, Professor of Classics at the University of Cambridge, a fellow of Newnham College and the Classics editor of the Times Literary Supplement. Well versed in her subject, she offered a view of ancient Rome that was informative, entertaining and wonderfully presented. For her pains, however, she was subjected to a series of insults from A.A.Gill, the restaurant reviewer for the "Sunday Times," who suggested that Mary Beard was "too ugly for television" and that she “should be kept away from the cameras altogether." Disgusted by such an unwarrented attack on this highly intelligent and obviously warm human being, "The News In Shorts" did a little research on her assailant. Adrian Anthony Gill studied art at Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design and the Slade School of Art, and failed utterly in his ambition to become a real artist because he had no talent. He was the companion who managed to get both himself and Joan Collins ejected from a Gordon Ramsey restaurant after "personal attacks" and insulting staff. He once described the Welsh as "loquacious, dissemblers, immoral liars, stunted, bigoted, dark, ugly, pugnacious little trolls" for which he was reported to the Commission for Racial Equality. Born in Scotland he also described the English as "embarrassing" and an "ugly race" as well as a "lumpen and louty, coarse, unsubtle, beady-eyed, beefy-bummed herd". In October 2009 he claimed to have shot a baboon because he wanted to know "what it might be like to kill someone". In September 2010, the Press Complaints Commission (PCC) made a formal judgement against Gill for referring to the sexuality of the BBC Sport presenter Clare Balding in "a demeaning and gratuitous way," while he has been the subject of 62 PCC complaints in the last five years. In other words he's an ill-educated lout with absolutely no charm, talent or ability whatsoever and should soon, if there's any justice in the world, be on the dole queue.

China Owns Your Breakfast.

Having exported millions of jobs from the west to China, put us all in debt to them forever and allowed the balance of power to shift from the nominally democratic nations to a pitiless tyranny, we have capped it all by flogging them our breakfast. While the Chinese authorities persecute a blind man for telling the truth about them, our leaders are beating a path to their door begging for investment. Why? Is it because that, after all, humans are more productive if controlled by a centralised authority with no interest in human rights? Is it because democracy is, despite all its achievements, a weak system that cannot survive? No. It's because our political leaders are incompetent morons who wouldn't know a good idea if it bit them on the ass. Since the American Revolution in 1776 there has been a steady and rising tide of democracy across the world. It has survived wars of frightful intensity and emerged triumphant, it has survived economic depressions and then bounced back. It hasn't been a tale of unfettered progress, there have been problems with much soul-searching and terrible injustices that have taken far too long to address. So what is different this time? 1979 was a watershed year. It was the year that the stupid, the greedy and smugly self-satisfied were allowed to push their way to the front. Since then its been downhill all the way. We in the west have gone from a civilization that put a man on the moon, to a civilization that cannot even control its own bankers. What went wrong? Neoliberalism economics which has elevated the basest instincts to the level of policy and in which a man is now measured by the tickness of his wallet and not by the contents of his character. We live in a period of the Right Rampant, the lunacy that has somehow managed to persuade us all that widening disparity of income is a good idea - indeed the only idea. We have to sweep this nonsense aside before its too late and China gets its hands not only on Weetabix but on our Corn Flakes as well.

How The Financial System Became A Force Of Nature.

In a major speech today the outgoing governor of the Bank of England, Sir Mervyn King, explained to us all why completely missing the financial crisis wasn't his fault or anyone else's for that matter - it was all "a failure of the system." Oh, that's all right then. Of course that phrase "a failure of the system" seems to suggest that the world financial system is some sort of force of nature, like a volcano or an earthquake, beyond the ability or wit of man to predict - soemthing that has been evolving on the planet since time began. No it isn't - it's a human construct and a very recent construct at that. It was built up by people seeking profit and, because profit seekers have little in the way of scruple, conscience or even basic intelligence, it demands regulation by governments to protect the rest of us from them. Nor should the idea that the recent financial crisis be reagrded as a one-off event, an aberration, be allowed to take root. It is simply another eaxample in a long line of such crises that have hit the world economy over the last two hundred years or so. It happens over and over again and has led to widespread poverty, unemployment and even wars in a depressing litany of human folly. Sometimes governments see where the utter stupidity of greedy individuals has led us and do something about it - its called regulation. Then we have an extended period during which the greedy and stupid chip away at the regulation until they remove it completely and they are allowed, once again, to go collectively insane to the cost of all of us. Mervyn King says that the crisis couldn't have been predicted. Yes it could. Perhaps he should have opened a history book or, if reading serious stuff is beyond him, he could have asked me. I might not be a genius but I am an historian and, as I told anyone who would listen at the time, I know a financial bubble when I see one. Don't let these disingenuous people fool you. They should have known what was in store - the warnings were writ large. To now claim that they didn't means they are either lying or so stupendously ignorant and incompetent they should never have been in positions of authority in the first place. These are not the Lords of Creation as they would like you to believe, they are small people with limited intellects and little grasp of reality.

Corporate Vultures Plunder NHS Hospital.

In a deal that well illustrates the way in which capitalism has socialised debt while retaining private ownership of profit, Circle has pocketed £2 million pounds "profit" from Hinchingbrooke hospital while, at the same time, the public is left with an untouched £40 million debt. To explain this outrageous example of a private company plundering the resources of the NHS Circle sent Ali Parsa, their chief executive, into the BBC news studio to explain to us thickos why it was all a good idea. With a little smirk to denote his superiority over the union leader questioning the deal and with the help of the BBC interviewer, Parsa carefully explained that he has a perfect right to take public money for doing nothing in particular while the rest of us support his life of luxury. Basicslly all business is supposed to be a gamble. An entrpeneur takes his own money, perhaps borrows some form the bank if he's lucky, and then gambles that money on an idea. If it works he reaps the benefit. If it doesn't he faces the consequencies. Not so for Circle. If they get it wrong the public picks up the tab. If they get it right they pocket the profit and the public still picks up the tab. It's as if Circle was gambling on a horse race in which the result made no difference at all - win or lose they pocket lots and lots of lovely dosh while the public purse underwrites them. This is not capitalism this is theft, plain and simple. The defence of this outrageous piece of double-dealing is that the hospital doesn't make a "profit" despite the fact that no hospital is bloody-well supposed to. It is a SERVICE - get it? A National Health SERVICE, paid for by the taxpayer for the benefit of the taxpayer and not a playground for a bunch of tax-dodging corporate vultures whose only ineterest is taking tax payers money and stuffing it into their pockets with the minimum of effort.

Cameron Begs Country To Ignore His Incompetence

In a desperate attempt to divert voters from the true issues facing the country, David Cameron has been reduced to pleading for local, not national, issues to guide voters choices in tomorrow's local elections. "For God's sake," he told our reporter, "make sure your readers don't think too much about my woeful record in office. Tell them it's all Labour's fault and they shouldn't vote for them because, if they do, the bogeyman will get them. Local elections call for consideration of local issues, such as how Labour councils have viciously caused widespread unemployment, flogged off local hospitals, thrown cripples out of their homes and privatised their local schools. Some people have suggested that all these things are the result of my policies, but that's a lie. As I've repeatedly explained, none of this has anything to do with me and these things have only come about because of completely unintended outcomes. I mean, who would have thought that Andrew Lansley's NHS Reform Bill would have led to Labour councils selling off hospitals, or Eric Pickles cutting money to councils would lead to unemployment? Think about what's best for the country - me and my rich mates that is. Is that too much to ask?" Having gently pointed out that "The News In Shorts" is not actually owned by Murdoch and, therefore, has no way of getting people to switch off their brains we left the Prime Minister weeping into his Dom Perignon.

Yes Minister, Senior Civil Servants Are Crooks As Well.

More than 2,000 public servants, paid by the taxpayer, don't actually pay income tax themselves - nor National Insurance for that matter. Danny Alexander, jumping on the "You could have knocked me over with a feather" defence favoured by his mates in the Tory party, has said he is "shocked" at this level of tax avoidance. We've become used to the idea that our banks, political parties and news media are run by a bunch of crooks so why not the civil service? Still, the ginger rodent has said that he's determined to do something about it within three months - well as far as contracts of employment allow of course. You and I might have contracts of employment that are not worth the paper they're written on, but rich people's contracts are another thing entirely - apparently. According to the BBC "The government, as employer, could potentially have to meet the extra costs of National Insurance and pension payments, as well as various statutory employee rights." In other words you and I, as taxpayers who can't dodge our liabilities, will end up paying their bill for them. While "any compensation payments would reduce the amount of lost tax revenue that could be recovered." So there you have it. The government would love to stop this abuse but their hands - conveniently - are tied. "It's what I've always said," George Osborne told our reporter, "the more you tax rich people the less money you get, especially when you consider all those pesky loopholes that, try as I might, I just can't seem to close."

The NHS: A Personal Word.

One of our reporters wound up in hospital this weekend. Taken ill in the middle of the night he was whisked away to his local A&E where his painful problem was diagnosed within minutes. Given the necessary pain-killing injection he was taken up to a ward where he received close attention to monitor his condition. The next morning he was taken to inpatients imaging where the diagnosis was confirmed - gaul stones. So, how did he rate his experience? "Bloody marvelous" was his conclusion. "I thought I was dying," he told the editor. "The Hospital was spotless, the staff were professional, friendly and the attention I received was second-to-none. I doubt I would have received better treatment if I was a millionaire paying BUPA throught the nose for the same service. Next to me was a young man in his twenties on his third liver transplant. I might add he'd never had a drink in his life and his first transplant had occured when he was 9. And what was his conclusion? If it wasn't for the NHS he'd be dead. I mentioned this to an acquaintence when I returned home and she was dismissive. 'I waited so long for an appointment that in the end I went private,' she told me. Her problem? She had a slight problem with blurring vision in one eye. Her life was not under threat, in fact her condition was merely inconvenient, but she has joined the ranks of those who think that because she doesn't get five star service for a minor complaint then the NHS should be privatised - forgetting completely the vital work they do saving people's lives. I hope she gets gaul stones and wakes up one night thinking she might die. Perhaps Richard Branson will come and collect her."

Murdoch "Not Fit To Head An International Corporation."

The Culture Committee has told us all today what most of us already knew - "Rupert Murdoch is not a fit person to exercise the stewardship of a major international company." The big surprise was that the four Tories on the Committee refused to endorse these findings. It's not difficult to see why. The Tories want to return us all to the "good old days" when they and Rupert Murdoch could do what they like and we were forever kept in the dark. All Democracy needs to flourish is more light, and the Tories certainly don't want that. It is now as clear as day that, despite everything we have learned about Murdoch and his murky dealings, that the Tories were more than willing to clear the way for his complete takeover of BSkyB on a nod and a wink. Jeremy Hunt, smug and overconfident, was busily engaged getting the Murdoch's bid in through the back door when he was found out. Now David Cameron has been reduced to insulting Dennis Skinner because he couldn't answer the question put to him and was on the back foot trying to defend the indefensible. So the question remians, why do the Tories still choose to believe that Rupert Murdoch is "a right and proper person?" The answer is blindingly simple - he's rich and powerful and, for a Tory, that's all you need to be. They would reduce our Democracy on this country to a playground for the rich and powerful in which ordinary people, you and I, are of no account.

The "Nothing To Do With Me" Defence.

There's little doubt that the "nothing to do with me" defence has been very fashionable of late. It was first trotted out by the bankers who seem to think that gambling with other people's money, and losing it, entitles them to state handouts and the protection of their bonuses. That was followed up by the cunning "we have pay that kind of money to get the right people," argument. Then we had the Murdoch's using the same argument. "I was shocked when I found out what the people I appointed and am responsible for turned out to be a bunch of crooks," James and Rupert tell us, expecting that we must believe them because they're important. George Osborne, impressed with the success of such whinning self-justification, felt emboldened to use the argument over tax-dodging. He too was shocked at the extent to which millionaires, including himself, avoid paying their fair share. His solution was to cut their tax burden - naturally. "It's a well known fact," he told us, "that raising taxes for rich people actually returns less money." Now we have David Cameron, faced with a Minister who had his hand in the cookie jar, telling us that having him investigated is "nothing to do with me." No, the right place to look into this is the Leveson Enquiry, despite the fact that it has absolutely nothing to do with investigating the Ministerial Code. So what exactly are the use of these bankers, executives and politicians? They seem to take no responsibility for anything they do and expect the glittering prizes no matter how incompetent and utterly useless they actually are. At the end of the day the only argument that they are really using is that they are "better" than us and deserve everything they can steal from us.

How Bad Is The Weather?

While Britain is submerged under water in the wettest April since records began, the privatised water companies are still insisting that we are in the midst of a drought. Obviously that is not because of any real shortage of water - a glance out of the window nails that lie - so what is going on? In a word mismanagement or, if you prefer two words, incompetence by the water companies. Too busy stuffing their already bulging pockets with our money, they simply don't have the time to worry about the water supply or the inclination to invest in an infrastructure that is now groaning under the strain of neglect. Their explaination? It's the wrong kind of rain, at the wrong time and they lack the ability to cpature it efficiently. Still, its an ill-wind that doesn't blow anyone any good and the government has seized on the bad weather to explain away the disgraceful scenes at our airports. "Clearly there have been some queues over recent days, caused by a number of factors including late planes and changes of schedules," a Downing Street spokesman told us all. "The Border Force has enough personnel," Theresa May insists, "and this has nothing to do with the hundreds or redundancies I've inflicted on the service. If these people would simply work 25 hours a day for 8 days a week there wouldn't be a problem. Unfortunately its a well know fact that British workers are bone-idle and should all be shot."