Rupert Murdoch Met Leading Politicians For Small Talk.

After James Murdoch's performance yesterday, in which he reiterated his explaination that he is completely incompetent and incapable of running a multi-million pound business, his father, Rupert, explained today that he spends all of his time engaging in small talk. "I have never spoken to politicians about anything other than "Eastenders" and "Coronation Street," he told the Leverson Enquiry today. "I met someone called David Cameron on several occassions but had no idea who he is. It never occured to me that such people could help me to acquire BSkyB or that they could have any influence over the deal. These were people that I just happened to have several secret meetings with for no apparent reason while my son wandered about our corporate headquarters with a bag over his head. I mean, what kind of pressure could a multi-millionaire newspaper proprietor like myself bring to bear on a politician who was desperate for my endorsement?" Meanwhile Jeremy Hunt the Culture Secretary, who spent five days in the US talking to the Murdochs for no apparent reason, refused to resign today amid allegations that he supplied the newspaper owner with confidential information. "I was delighted when Rupert and James invited me to view their stamp collection," Hunt told our reporter. "It never occured to me that, as the Culture Secretary responsible for overseeing the BSkyB deal, that talking in secret to the Murdoch's might give the wrong impression."

Tories Complete The Hat Trick.

Even for a Tory David Cameron is pretty dim but the worst thing is that he honestly believes that everyone is as stupid as he is. He began his meteoric rise to fame by "de-toxifying" the Tory brand, anxious to show that they were no longer the nasty party. Then he followed this up by promising that he would tackle the recession in an even-handed matter; "We're all in this together." Last of all he told us that he would end the sleaze in British politics. Once in power he then began the nastiest attack on ordinary people that this country as ever witnessed, instituted an economic policy that was designed to benefit a tiny wealthy elite and set about creating a cozy relationship with the Murdochs that was more than just sleazy - it was probably also illegal. You could almost feel the panic in Tory circles as James took the stand again today at the Leverson Enquiry. Nice hat-trick Tory boy! But it is the sheer arrogance of this plausible second-rater that really gets this reporter's goat - the unthinking belief that the British people are so stupid that he can tell them anything and they'll believe it. "Yes, I invited James Murdoch to Christmas dinner but I never once discussed his plans to take over BSkyB. He may have had direct access to government at all levels but that was only so we could swop recepies and discuss our mutual interest in stamp collecting." The electorate should never listen to what politicians say, they should always judge them by what they do and, so far, all Cameron seems to have done is to give us all the finger, in private of course.