The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 26 April 2012

Rupert Murdoch Met Leading Politicians For Small Talk.

After James Murdoch's performance yesterday, in which he reiterated his explaination that he is completely incompetent and incapable of running a multi-million pound business, his father, Rupert, explained today that he spends all of his time engaging in small talk. "I have never spoken to politicians about anything other than "Eastenders" and "Coronation Street," he told the Leverson Enquiry today. "I met someone called David Cameron on several occassions but had no idea who he is. It never occured to me that such people could help me to acquire BSkyB or that they could have any influence over the deal. These were people that I just happened to have several secret meetings with for no apparent reason while my son wandered about our corporate headquarters with a bag over his head. I mean, what kind of pressure could a multi-millionaire newspaper proprietor like myself bring to bear on a politician who was desperate for my endorsement?" Meanwhile Jeremy Hunt the Culture Secretary, who spent five days in the US talking to the Murdochs for no apparent reason, refused to resign today amid allegations that he supplied the newspaper owner with confidential information. "I was delighted when Rupert and James invited me to view their stamp collection," Hunt told our reporter. "It never occured to me that, as the Culture Secretary responsible for overseeing the BSkyB deal, that talking in secret to the Murdoch's might give the wrong impression."

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