The Tory party is in disarray tonight as Unite continues to calmly negotiate over pay and conditions and stubbornly refuses to come out on strike. "It's a bloody disgrace," a Tory party spokesperson told out reporter. "We've done everything we can to provoke them but they just refuse to strike. We had all of our ducks in a row - the public were primed to panic at a moments notice, the army was in place to make it look like we know what we're doing and we were sure the union was up for it. We had a re-run of the 1980's all set up and now it looks like it was all for nothing. I suppose we'll just to have to find some other union to pick a fight with. The only other viable alternative is for a war with Argentina over the Falklands again and they're playing hard to get as well. It's getting harder and harder to find a way to divert public attention away from our complete incompetence I tell you."
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