Cameron Backs The Gutter Press.

Cameron has once again shown his true colours today and its yellow not blue. Having stated that he would impliment Leveson in full "as long as its not completely bonkers" he has gradually shifted his ground, squirmed and now has completely weasled out of his promise. His reasoning is not difficult to understand, especially after Rupert Murdoch invited Nigel Farage to dinner - he is a craven coward who would rather see a million Millie Dowler's having their phones hacked rather than risk having the press say something nasty about him and the bunch of crooks known as the Tory party. His word is valueless, his promises hollow and his actions completely reprehensible. He has betrayed the British people at every turn and has proven beyond all doubt that his only political principle is "I'm all right Jack." His record speaks for itself. He has done nothing to rein in the banks, has broken the British economy to protect his money and that of his rich mates, has strained every muscle to flog off the NHS to those same rich mates, has wrecked the British education system and has now crawled into bed with the lowest of the low. No better than scum floating atop the fetid pond of British politics, this man is unfit to be Prime Minister and should be removed from power before he inflicts yet more damage on the country.

Why British Children Must Starve.

The changes to benfits in Britain have one inevitable consequence that can neither be avoided nor brushed under the carpet - more than half of British children will condemned to live below the breadline by 2015 according to the Joseph Roundtree Foundation. While David Cameron and his cabinet colleagues continue to do very well thank you, the true meaning of his famous phrase "we're all in this together" is becoming increasingly clear. He and his Tory pals are continuing to enrich themselves while the majority of British children are literally facing starvation. They continue to tell us that "there is no alternative" and, from their point of view, this is absolutely true. If they are to keep their fortunes intact the disastrous economic system that plunged the world into crisis must be saved. And, in order to achieve these two aims, the poor must pay. Austerity is not about saving the country, it is about saving an economic system that delivers only for the already wealthy. It is about rolling back the welfare state so the rich won't have to pay taxes and their fortunes can be preserved in the face of an economic meltdown that they and their rich mates caused in the first place. Under those circumstances the health of the economy is neither here nor there and, despite the meaningless rhetoric of the Tories, Britain now languishes in 158th place out of 184 countries in terms of growth. Put quite simply the Tories have no plans for and no interest in growth. That, in turn, explains why George Osborne has the reputation of being only a "part-time Chancellor." Nor is this label confined only to those on the left since even his own constituents see him that way and, as a poll by ComRes has discovered, more than 80% of them believe he's far too interested in the Tory party's preperations for the 2015 election to think too much about the economy. This is what Toryisn means - selfishness and greed raised to the level of policy and the Devil take the hindmost.

Clegg Stifles Debate On The Economy.

Nick Clegg and the other Tories who have hijacked the LibDem party have managed to stifle any debate over the economy at their conference today. The Social Liberal Forum (SLF), a LibDem pressure group that still believes democracy actually exists within their party, were "frustrated" when they were expertly outmanoeuvred by the Tory-inspired Insane Tendency that has all but destroyed them as a political force. Prateek Buch, director of the SLF said; "I cannot understand how a serious party of government can decide, against the democratic will of our members, not to debate the single most important issue that faces our country." We asked Nick Clegg for his explanation; "We cannot discuss the economy in any meaningful sense because Britain no longer actually has one. There is absolutely no point in endlessly talking about something we haven't got a clue about or are prepared to do anything about. People have to realise that in order to create a more equal society we have to get rid of poverty and the quickest way to do that is to get rid of the poor. It is clear that making the poor pay for the criminal activity of bankers is the fairest way to tackle this problem - otherwise rich people will have to pay for it and that would never do. The LibDems didn't get where they are today because of democracy or because they know anything about economics. We got here by lying to the electorate and we must persevere with the strategy that has stood us in such good stead so far. The problem with the economy is not that it is flatlining but that people keep asking awkward questions about it."

G4S Efficiently Kill NHS Patient.

G4S, the company famous for earning millions after failing to provide security at London's Olympic Games, have finally succeeding in killing a patient in one of their ambulances. The company, whose humerous tag line is "Securing Your World", failed to secure the wheelchair of a double amputee and then killed him when the wheelchair tipped over. We asked a Tory party spokesman for their reaction to the news; "G4S have an outstanding record in delivering a very efficient, if also completely nonexistant and very expensive, service to the public. We don't regard this unfortunate accident as indicative that a privatised ambulance service will be an unmitigated disaster. Indeed we believe that killing patients during the ambulance journey to hospital will cut down waiting times and free up health staff for more important things such as book-keeping and list ticking. Useless sick people, especially crippled ones, should be grateful for our new streamlined euthenasia programme delivered free at the point of need by such an efficient private company. Killing people within a nationalised service has always been difficult, what with adverse publicity linking the government with such deaths, and we mean to prevent attracting such blame in the future. G4S have kindly offered to take the flak for a derisory £10 billion a year or so, which is a great deal for the tax payer and even better for the Tory party."

Paddy Ashdown Has A Laugh.

Paddy Ashdown premiered his new role as the LibDem's comedy relief today, though he failed to wear the traditional red nose, as he advised his party to prepare for a return to government. "We have a taste of the rewards available to those prepared to tell any lie for votes," he told the LibDem Conference, "and we want more. More power, more money, more privileges and more opportunities to screw ordinary people while we laugh at their stupidity. You can't change a country overnight. You can't deliver on the liberal promise in just one government. It takes time or, as I like to put it, never. We must build a stronger economy in a fairer society, enabling everyone to get on in life, especially our new best friends - the Tories. Only when we have delivered the sort of society in which every millionaire can succeed against all the odds to make even more money and poverty is erradicated by killing off all the poor will we have an equal society." He then went on to tackle the sex scandals that have rocked the party of late. Allegations of inappropriate behaviour towards women, he said, would be "investigated thoroughly and independently and then completely ignored while perverting the course of justice will, from now on, be confined to the floor of the House of Commons."

Hunt Makes Last Ditch Attempt To Flog The NHS.

Jeremy C..., sorry, Jeremy Hunt, the slimiest individual in the Tory swamp, has stepped up his campaign to soften up the NHS so he can flog it off to the criminals who bankroll his party. As the member of the government most closely associated with the atempt to strangle the finances of the NHS, C..., sorry, Hunt has had the sheer brass neck to warn that 'The weeds of failure grow more quickly in a garden of mediocrity." As a Tory he would naturally know all about that. What C..., sorry, Hunt, is doing is to blame the victim for a policy designed to bring the NHS into disrepute even as it kills people. The Tories have spent decades slavering over the NHS, itching to privatise it so they steal as much money as they can get their grubby hands on. Staffordshire was a symptom of this process and not an example of why privatisation should gather pace. The Labour party, frightened by the bogeywoman, Margaret Thatcher, actively encouraged it and the result has been disaster. While both parties are eager to pour billions into the armed forces and the aid programme so their leaders can stut the world stage pretending they are important, people have been dying in Britain for want of a properly funded NHS. There is no case for the disgraceful idea that the NHS should make a profit. It is not a business, it is a service funded by us for us. There is no place in the NHS for politicians on the make or businessmen hoping to plunder it. It is ours and should have a sign on it saying "HANDS OFF." C..., sorry, Hunt, is a mediocre little spiv, like his predecessor Andrew Lansley, whose only qualification as the Minister for Health is that he managed to screw up the BSkyB confidence trick. He, like the entire coalition government, are not fit to lick the boots of the lowliest hospital porter.

Cameron Caught Telling Fibs.

The Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) has asked David Cameron to stop telling lies today as they accused him of deliberately misleading the public over austerity. Cameron had claimed in a major speech that the OBR agreed with him that austerity was not responsible for Britain's economic woes when they had said no such thing. We asked an OBR spokesman for his view; "Well, not to put too fine a point on it, Cameron is a f******g liar. Everyone knows that the Tory plan to force poor people to pay for the recession is a b******g disaster. While ordinary people are being forced onto the street by the bedroom tax and bankers are still being paid huge bonuses for being criminals, Cameron and his millionaire cronies are not only coining it but are actively trying to flog off the NHS to make themselves even richer. This is not a government - its a bunch of barbarian marauders with all the economic expertise of Attila the Hun." Stunned by such a forthright analysis of the Cameron regime we turned to a leading economic expert from Cambridge University for a more balanced view; "Cameron is a f*****g liar who should be horsewhipped through the streets of every major city in Britain. As for George Osborne, hanging is too good for him. These people have set out to rob the country in broad daylight and have only managed to survive so far because of that two-faced t**t, Nick Clegg. Their so-called economic policy is nothing more than a mugging and why they haven't been dragged into the streets by a howling mob is a complete mystery." In yet another attempt to get a better opinion of Cameron we invited a Tory spokesman to give the party view; "Cameron? He's not only a f*****g liar, he's not even a very good one. We expect our leader to lie in a far more convincing manner than this. It's a constant source of great sorrow in the Tory party that we are not being led by Nigel Farage - now there's an idiot we can all be proud of."

It's Not Easy Being A Tory.

Life as a Tory has never been easy. You have to be prepared to be so nasty that real human beings can't stand to be in the same room as you. Most Tories can cope with that because the rewards - a chance to be as nasty and vicious as you like, scrounging from the public purse and the overwheening sense of entitlement - are so, well, rewarding. But what makes life almost unbearable as a Tory is that you also have to be completely incompetent. Not the simple bumbling incompetence that marks out the moron, but the truly mind-numbing and totally brainless incompetence that marks out the true Tory. This week has seen some outstanding examples of classic Tory incompetence. Ian Duncan Smith has finally discovered that his nasty little scheme to make benefits unavailable to those who actually need them cannot be implimented because the science fiction IT programmes he hoped could be developed are sadly impossible. Worse yet he has now found out that his cherished "bedroom tax" is so vicious that it can't even pass muster by the legal profession - people who regularly run laboratory mazes on the basis that there are some things that even rats won't do. David Cameron, meanwhile, has discovered that food banks, unlike many Tory policy wheezes, are not so easy to hide from the public, while his plan to flog off the NHS while nobody was looking has been spotted after all. Then, to add insult to injury, Tory opposition to capping banker's bonuses has been scuppered by EU leaders who do have some idea what the word "fair" actually means. Fortunately for the rest of us the Tories are now busily engaged in the pastime that eclipses even their lust for damaging the country - stabbing each other in the back. Cameron's days seem to be numbered, happily so are those of the Tory party in general.

Cameron Takes Out His Tory Phrasebook.

David Cameron took out his Tory phrasebook today and wrote a piece for the "Telegraph" that manages to be both insincere and unbelievable at the same time. Plagarising a few Churchillian-type phrases such as "the Battle for Britain" Cameron set out, in his usual smug and self-satisfied style, to persuade us that were still "all in this together." He even had the sheer brass neck to claim that the Tories were the only party who really wanted to protect the NHS. More mystifying still the most right-wing and vicious Prime Minister in living memory told us that he refused to "lurch to the right." Lurch to the right? Where would that put him if he did? Lecturing Ghengis Khan for being too soft? Even more astonishing is his "wish list" by which people will "be able to look back at this government and see that we paid down our debts, helped create millions of jobs, sorted out welfare, made our schools world-beating and built homes for a generation." Apart from flogging off the NHS and ending any kind of welfare for anyone he has done none of these things and there is no sign that he ever intends to. Cameron, far from creating some mythical political legacy, is being crushed in a vice of his own making. Hated by a large section of the British population for being what can only be described as a lying, self-serving piece of Etonian scum, he has also managed to annoy his own party by not being Nigel Farage. The "Telegraph", quite sensibly, allowed no public comment on the story but feel free to comment on this piece if you like.

Rampaging Right Fiddles As We Burn.

The banking crisis in 2008 showed us all the utter lunacy of the free market, no holds barred neoliberal economic policies that have plagued the world for the last 30 years. There was no mistaking why the crisis happened despite the claims to the contrary coming from the right. Deregulation of the finance industry had encouraged greed, stupidity and outright criminality right at the heart of the world's economic system and, after the crisis hit, failed to do anything about it. Effectively the argument as to whether neoliberal economics made any sense at all was over and the verdict was damning. Right-wingers, however, did not throw in the towel as you would expect. In Britain the Tories managed, with support from an opportunistic LibDem party, to make a last ditch rearguard action against reality and to force through policies designed to make the victims of the neoliberal failure pay for it. In the United States the Republicans failed to field an even remotely credible candidate in the Presidential election and lost badly. Their answer is to block President Obama at every turn and to force massive cuts in the budget that will harm the ordinary citizen but leave their vast fortunes unscathed. On both sides of the Atlantic unscrupulous right-wing politicians are willing to countenance economic disaster for the majority in order to protect their own narrow interests. Wedded to an economic system designed to promote these narrow interests during the good times, it is hardly surprising that the greedy and selfish would seek to protect those same interests during the bad times. For them neoliberal economics is a no-brainer since its central tennant - heads I win, tails you lose - serves their insatiable lust for money. In Britain nothing, not a triple-dip recession, a loss of the AAA credit rating or rioting in the streets will divert the Tories from their utterly sefish course. They will starve the needy, persecute the disabled and steal whatever they can get their hands on in order to maintain an economic system that this country can no longer afford. The Tories have proven, once and for all, that they are not a political party in any real sense - they are simply an expensive and wholly irrelevant interest group unfit to govern now or at any time in the future.