Lousie Mensch Puts Her Family First.

While Nick Clegg eyes Europe as a possible escape route, Louise Mensch has decided to jump ship completely and move to the United States. She is doing this apparently in the interests of her family, so we asked the Tory pin-up girl for a statement. "Having helped to inflict incalculable harm on everyone else's family I have decided to move to the United States before my family suffers. I have chosen to live in the United States because that's where my rich husband keeps his money and you can get the best medical care that money can buy there. I realised that, after privatisation of the NHS, healthcare in Britain would soon be expensive and as shoddy as all privately-delivered services in Britain. Let's face it Britain is finished - and I ought to know since I've certainly done my best to finish it off. The loss of LibDem support was the final straw since I realised that I didn't have a cat in hell's chance of being elected to parliament again. The only thing I'll miss is the unlimted expense account. So its so long and thanks for all the money."

Louise Mensch Insults LibDems And Protestors Alike.

Louise Mensch, the hatchet-faced Conservative MP for Corby and East Northamptonshire, has today insulted protestors who held a street party outside Nick Clegg's London home. The protestors, tired of being completely ignored by the political establishment, decided to bring attention to the shameful way this government is targetting the disabled to pay for the crimes of the banks by targetting Nick Clegg in his £1 million pound house. This, according to the shameless Ms.Mensch on Twitter, amounted to the "intolerable bullying" of a poor defenceless politician and she appealed for Tories to send £5 each to the LibDem party by way of compensation. We asked the smug, self-centred MP for a further statement; "It is completely unjustified for unemployed and crippled scum to give politicians a dose of their own medicine. Working class people only exist to be abused and their fighting back is simply not acceptable. Bullying is a terrible crime, unless practised by me and my rich mates, and I feel its only right that these people should be intimidated to the full extent of the law. As for the appeal to send the LibDems £5, you have to understand that I only value money and I'm pretty sure that the newly corrupted LibDem colleagues now feel the same. I'm sure that if we can get all Tory supporters to contribute we should be able to raise at least £25."