The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Cameron Fed Up With Subsidizing Alcoholics.

The man who likes to call himself the Prime Minister of Great Britain has today spoken about his annoyance at having to subsidise feckless, unemployed alcoholics through his food bill. This, he claims, comes about because families like his "with a reasonable drinking habit" are “actually subsidising the binge drinker” as supermarkets increase food prices to cuts the price of wine, beer and cider. This odd conceit on the part of Cameron is difficult to defend on three counts. First there is actually no evidence that supermarkets increase food prices to subsidise cheaper prices on booze. Secondly Cameron himself is a notorious binge drinker who is often seen in public drunk and has even been known to leave his own children behind after getting sloshed in the pub. Third, and most telling of all, he is an MP and doesn't actually pay for anything at all since his household bills are paid by the taxpayer. The reason for this sudden outburst seems to lie in the way that Cameron thinks about everything. Any injustice he percieves seems to be exclusively concerned with unemployed scroungers getting something for nothing. Wealthy scroungers, such as himself, it would seem have a God-given right to get anything and everything for nothing. All crime is the result of unemployed scroungers stealing what they refuse to work for as opposed to bankers who steal what they refuse to work for and then also refuse to pay tax on what is deemed to be their "legitimate" profits. Only the poor are "binge" drinkers, while he and other rich people are merely individuals who savour fine alcoholic products in copious amounts. But Cameron is right about one thing - the feckless and largely unemployed bone idle are indeed subsidised in this country. The Royal Family, MP's, Bankers and Business Executives to name just a few. This is simply another example of Cameron raising his own self-serving and unfounded prejudices to the level of policy while completely ignoring the axiom about "people who live in glass houses."

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