The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Tories Balance The Books.

The government, given no choice by the courts, has had to come clean and admit that it completely messed up the bidding for the West Coast Mainline franchise. Leaving aside the fact that this fiasco illustrates the utter folly of having a fragmented transport system designed solely to delivert taxpayers money into the hands of private enterprise, it also demonstrates the total incompetence of this government. Not to worry though - the estimtated financial damamges payable to Virgin, around £40 million, will be paid by the taxpayer as well. So that's all right then. By sheer coincidence £40 million is exactly the same amount of taxpayers money that ATOS will pocket in profits for persecuting disabled Scots. The actual cost to the taxpayer of this pogrom will be in the region of £206 million, but even ATOS has overheads - racks, branding irons and whips etc. The Tories, who like things to be nice and tidy, are impressed by the symetry of the equation - Incompetence + Viciousness = £40 million for Virgin + £40 million for ATOS - and are now excitedly working on other branches of Tory higher mathematics. Arrogance + Viciousness + Dismantled Education System = Compliant Plebs. Arrogance + Viciousness + Recession = Plebs Too Hungry To Object. Arrogance + Viciousness - NHS = No One Left Alive To Vote Labour. But here's one they haven't thought of - Incompetence + Viciousness - Fairness = Head On A Pike.

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