Repubican Presidential hopeful Rick Perry, pictured above, has shocked US TV audiences by exposing himself as a complete idiot after being unable to remember which federal departments he would cut. Asked afterwards whether he would now quit the race to the White House he replied; "This ain't a day for quitting nothing," - revealing that his English grammer isn't up to much either. Suspected of being under the influence of drugs or drink after his bizzare behaviour during a previous speech, his defence consisted of accusing the media of "character assassination." We asked a founding member of the "Grand Ole Party" for his view; "You have to realise that the Republican Party was founded on bad grammer, as the "Ole" in our title suggests, while our mascot is an elephant - an animal not noted for its deft footwork. Still this is not a disaster for good ole Rick - he wouldn't be the first village idiot that the party has managed to install in the Oval Office."
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