Cameron And Hunt - Still Ducking And Diving.

Part-time PM David Cameron and the loathsome Jeremy Hunt have been giving a master class this week in the art of ducking and diving. "Call me Dave" was first up with his threadbare explanation for attending the Commonwealth Conference in Sri Lanka despite that country's dubious human rights record. Distracted from his busy round of flogging arms to various Sri Lankan government gangsters, Dave took time off to carefully explain why his presence at the Conference was all Labour's fault. "Ed Miliband, who as everyone knows was Prime Minister at the time, agreed in 2009 that the conference should be held in Sri Lanka despite the fact that his crystal ball was telling him that the government there would soon be guilty of human rights abuses. This left me with no choice but to attend the meeting since it was pencilled into my diary and my bags were already packed. I feel that, with good will on both sides and with the new guns I've just flogged to the Sri Lankan authorities, the problem will soon be resolved as the hard-working government finally gets rid of all the scrounging shirkers in the Tamil community." Meanwhile, back in Britain now officially renamed "Tory World", "Jeremy stop calling me C**t" has called for negligent doctors and nurses to be jailed for up to five years in order to cover up his own record of neglect and mistreatment of the NHS. While A&E departments continue to close for the winter and the incidence of postponed operations increased by 40%, Mr.Hunt felt he had no choice but to use the time-honoured Tory tactic of blaming the victims. "Despite all our efforts to persuade them otherwise," Hunt told the BBC, "doctors and nurses in the NHS still continue to deliberately kill patients for fun. If I could fully privatise healthcare in Britain then, of course, all these problems would vanish overnight. Doctors and nurses would then act in accordance with their oath to do no harm because they would be guided by the higher morality of the market place. I have to add, however, that the real problem with the NHS is all those selfish pensioners who resolutely refuse to die quietly so I can reduce my tax bill."

Tories Extend Principle Of Killing People For Money.

Having established the principle of forcing the disabled and unemployed into destitution to aid criminal bankers and killing pensioners to aid greedy energy companies, the Tories have now extended the principle of the euthanasia of plebs to the NHS. Our healthcare is now, in all but name, fully privatised and is now subject to competition law - the charter that allows greedy executives to ignore competition so they can fill both their pockets and the pockets of their shareholders. The NHS is now obliged to spend millions on competition lawyers to avoid being sued by the Competition Commission and avoid litigation by the corporate bloodsuckers who are also the recipients of lucrative contracts forced on the NHS by this so-called government. Two NHS hospital trusts in Bristol have already been stopped from rolling out a unified cancer pathway to save lives in order to follow the rules of competition. Meanwhile the wage bill for top NHS executives has exploded since the Tories got their snouts in the trough even as ordinary health workers have seen their wages frozen and their increments have come under threat. Essentially the NHS has been turned into a three-ringed circus in which the corporate clowns are the main beneficiaries. The Tories, having starved the NHS of funds and thrown it to the wolves, is now pointing the finger at failing A&E departments and trust managers desperately trying to hide the truth from the public and bellowing "See, we told you it needed reform." But make no mistake this is murder for money masquerading under an all too convenient ideological commitment to the "market place." Far from creating a new "market place" for healthcare the Tories have created their own version of Pol Pot's killing fields complete with a nice new shiny price tag.

Halls Of Residence For MP's? Not Likely!

Every now and again a politician comes up with a good idea that is designed to make his fellow politicians more honest. Such politicians usually end up being buried under an avalanche of special pleading and, "Ah yes, but....." Today Chris Williamson, Labour MP for Derby North and Shadow Minister for Communities and Local Government, suggested that MP's should live in halls of residence like students to put an end to them speculating on the London property market and using taxpayers money to make huge profits for themselves. "There is a block of flats opposite the House of Commons," he then pointed out. His suggestion has been largely ignored by other MP's, presumably because they hope the idea will quietly go away, but one couldn't resist putting her head above the parapet. Dame Margaret Beckett, a fellow Labour MP for Derby North, immediately told us that the block of flats referred to by Chris Williamson did not exist. "You would have to build one," she claimed, and added; "Prices are enormous in London so I don’t think it would work out cheaper. Also, there is no space around Westminster so you would have to build it further away and then MPs will be incurring travel costs." Even worse, she continued; "MPs are not students – many have families and need more room. One of the things we’re starting to see is fewer women and fewer people with families wanting to become an MP. If you put MPs all together in a block of flats that trend will get worse, not better.” Oh dear! Still she failed to address the central question which is why should the taxpayer fund speculation on the London property market by MP's who then pocket the profits? Nothing to do with the fact that Dame Maggie claimed £72,537 between 2004 and 2008 on a house in her own constituency that was already paid for and had no mortgage on it whatsoever while she stayed in a grace and favour flat in London, courtesy of the taxpayer, and rented out her own flat then?

Full Steam Ahead On Planet Tory.

Every Prime Minister has a good week now and again and this has certainly been one of David Cameron's best so far. His programme to demolish three-bedroomed houses in Britain is going well as the bedroom tax makes them unaffordable for most ordinary people, the pay of so-called "super managers" in the NHS has shot up despite a 1% pay freeze for everyone else and Tory MP Nadhim Zahawi has agreed to pay back the money he claimed for heating his stables. All this was marred only by Jeremy Paxman finally noticing what many of us have known all along - that David Cameron is a really nasty piece of work. Paxman's epiphany came about because of Cameron's plan to celebrate the outbreak of World War I. "What kind of idiot would celebrate the outbreak of a war that saw the slaughter of an entire generation of young British men?" Paxman asked. The News in Shorts might understand celebrating the 100th anniversary of the end of World War I which, of course, would occur in 2018. And that's the problem as far as Cameron is concerned. By 2018, if there's any justice, Cameron will be out of office and be languishing on the Tory back benches listening to the latest swivel-eyed loon to lead the Tory party in opposition. He needs a celebration in the run up to the general election of 2015 that will create a "feel good factor" and, hopefully, give him a majority in Parliament so he can carry on persecuting the unemployed, sick and disabled. Unfortunately the only one he can find is the one that celebrates the mass murder that occurred after August 1914 during which people like him shoved people like us "over the top" to die in our millions in no-mans land. Enter the Tory spin doctors determined to make a calamity for this country into a jamboree for those right-wingers who think that the wholesale slaughter or working-class people is a really, really good idea and an excuse for "a jolly good party." So is Cameron really an idiot? No, just another cold and calculating leader of the nasty party determined, if he gets the opportunity, to be even nastier after the general election in 2015.

Iain Duncan Smith: The Smeagol Of British Politics.

Iain Duncan Smith, pictured above in characteristic pose, has been many things in his life - a benefit cheat, a liar, a failed leader of the Tory party and now a failed minister. This week his cherished policy of creating a single benefit designed to make it easier to force the unemployed, disabled and sick into complete destitution has crashed to the ground with a price tag of £425 million. The Parliamentary Accounts Committee has now issued a report that details the extent of his utter failure. The Department of Work and Pensions stands revealed as lacking in leadership, in which bad news and contrary evidence are routinely ignored and in which bullying is regarded as a legitimate management technique. This is hardly surprising since IDS himself has no leadership skills whatsoever, his only response to evidence proving him wrong is "I have a belief I am right," and who has demanded that MP's pin the failure of his policy on his permanent secretary, Robert Devereux. In many ways he bears a striking resemblance to Tolkien's creation Sméagol or Gollum as he is also called. A sneaky creature filled with resentment for his own failures, Sméagol is locked into a monomaniac search for his "precious" - the ring of power. IDS is similarly locked into a monomaniac search for power, jealously having to stand to one side as Cameron wields the power IDS feels should be his. Sméagol's catch phrases are tailor-made for IDS, "What's it got in it's pocketses?"; "We wants it. We needs it."; "You don't have any friends; nobody likes you"; "Come on Hobbits. Long ways to go yet. Smeagol will show the way"; "They do not see what lies ahead, when Sun has faded and Moon is dead". Uncanny isn't it?

Political Corruption And The Art Of Coalition Government.

Tory MP Brian Binley has been boasting about political corruption in Britain while on a taxpayer paid junket to Malta. Gleefully describing himself as a "political hanger on" Binley told the Bank of Valetta that he will push their interests in Britain confident of success because British politicians "are totally corrupt." In the meantime Nick Clegg was happy to defend MP's claiming the energy bills for their second homes on the basis that the cost of living was increasing while he and his wife both has "jobs" and, therefore, deserved the money because they are "hard-working." The arrogance and sense of entitlement displayed by these two corrupt, self-serving and greedy politicians amply demonstrates the extent of the political corruption in Britain. Our politicians are now so corrupt that they don't even understand what the word means any more. They honestly believe that they are entitled to unlimited access to public funds simply because they are "important" public figures. They can't even be sacked for a total and unmitigated failure to do their jobs as Iain Duncan Smith's less than glittering career as the Work and Pension Secretary demonstrates quite clearly. Having totally wasted £140 million on a useless IT system, wasted even more millions on a mandatory work scheme that has proved less successful than doing nothing and pushed hundreds of thousands of people into utter destitution, David Cameron is still insisting that IDS is "doing exactly the right thing". The corruption is now so pronounced and the government so inept that PricewaterhouseCoopers (PcW) is warning that austerity in Britain will have to last until at least 2030 and that the electorate will just have to get used to a standard of living not experienced since the 1950's. Punished because the banks were run by criminals, we are now being punished so that politicians can keep the gravy train moving and to provide the "savings" necessary to fund their tax cuts.

Tories Plot To Steal State Pensions.

While millionaire Tory MP's are claiming over £5,000 a year on expenses to pay the energy bills on their second homes George Osborne's favourite right-wing think tank, the Policy Exchange, is plotting to steal our state pension. They are trying to defend this by pretending that the state pension is a benefit. It is not - we pay for it throughout our entire working lives and are lucky if we live long enough to get back even a small portion of what we've paid in. The real reason for this move is that Tories don't like paying tax and are willing to pauperise or even kill as many ordinary people as it takes to get what they want. Having taken our money they now want to divert it to fund even more tax cuts for themselves. Not content with fraud they are now willing to contemplate outright theft, not content with pauperising ordinary people they now want us destitute. They have declared war on their own citizens - the people they are supposedly paid to protect. They can, therefore, no longer be regarded as a political party but must now be seen for what they are - a criminal organisation dedicated to greed and utter selfishness. The Tories seem to want to take the gloves off. Let them do so and then we, the electorate, can give them such a kicking at the next general election in 2015 that they will never recover. They need to be smashed so completely that they will never again rise to threaten this country with their own brand of state terrorism.

Recovery? What Recovery?

George Osborne would like us all to believe that we are out of recession and that he has the figures that prove it. Yet, despite his apparent confidence, the recovery is not obvious to most of us and that includes the head of the CBI, John Cridland pictured above. He thinks that British business is in such a parlous state that workers should accept lower wages and tax payers should even pay their employee's energy bills. Yet he also claims, to try and persuade us all to vote Tory again apparently, that there is a recovery underway and business confidence is growing. How does this square with the rest of us feeling no benefit whatsoever while business, known to be cash rich, is avoiding investment like the plague because of uncertainty? The News in Shorts has talked about the new "heads we win, tails you lose" capitalism before but John Cridland seems to want to take it to an unprecedented level. He believes that we all have no choice but to accept higher prices and lower wages while he gets a tax cut and the taxpayer pays his bills. Who does he think he is, a Tory MP? Meanwhile Ed Miliband feels he has no alternative but to try and bribe business with yet another tax cut to persuade them to pay living wages. Why do businessmen, who should know that higher wages leads to greater demand, have to be bribed to do the right thing? We know that business executives are pathologically greedy but do they also have to be so unutterably stupid? Is greed and stupidity the only qualifications needed to become a business leader? Apparently so if John Cridland is a typical example. Yet the answer is quite simple. If business leaders are so utterly useless and find that they lack the ability to do the job they are so grossly overpaid for then their businesses should be taken into public ownership and they should be given jobs more commensurate with their limited abilities - stacking shelves at Tesco for instance.

Iain Duncan Smith: The Face Of Modern Toryism.

"He will claim divine authority as he works all kinds of counterfeit miracles and signs while doing all kinds of evil." I am not religious, in fact I am opposed to all forms of organised religion, but this description of the Antichrist makes you think. The only question is does Iain Duncan Smith know his Bible as much as he'd like us to believe? He certainly likes to claim divine authority, happily telling us that if he believes something then it must be true. His "solutions" to problems that only have reality in his imagination could be seen as "counterfeit miracles" and he is certainly "doing all kinds of evil." In truth he is simply a delusional oaf, a serial liar and an incompetent. That he could obtain a position of power in Britain tells the electorate everything they need to know about the modern Tory party - which is little more than a ragbag of would-be petty dictators and a bunch of frustrated fascists for the modern age. As Ed Miliband told us so tellingly; "Britain is better than this." I'd like to think that is true. I'd also like to think that we have progressed enough at the beginning of the 21st century to finally put the Tories behind us once and for all. They once represented the spirit of the age - the 19th century with all its brutal and primitive disregard for ordinary working people and its condescending attitude to the rest of the world. That age is long past as is the Tory party's place in modern British politics. Surely we should have outgrown them by now?

Fraud Is The New Harmless Hobby.

Welcome to Britain in the 21st century - a country where it is perfectly legal to lie, cheat and steal as long as you are rich and powerful. This new "morality" has now infected every aspect of business, politics and the press. The finance industry can happily manipulate the markets, deliberately sell products they know will bankrupt their customers, charge interest rates that are nothing short of immoral and avoid paying tax with total immunity. Politicians take backhanders that are euphemistically called "donations", routinely twist the facts to suit themselves, regard the electorate as little better than potential marks for their latest confidence tricks, fraudulently pad their expense accounts and kill people so they can cut their own tax liabilities. Yet few of them are ever called to account and are allowed to pursue their criminal careers with little fear that legal action will be taken against them. The only exception to this is the press whose phone hacking was so outrageous they upset other rich and powerful people and provoked a reaction - eventually. Yet even in the fourth estate it is highly unlikely that those at the top - the Murdoch's for instance - will ever have to face charges in court. It will certainly be a cold day in hell before you see a leading politician charged with crimes against humanity, a banker or energy executive charged with theft or a Murdoch charged with invasion of privacy. Grant Shapps is a case in point. This is a man who sets up internet businesses whose expressed purpose is to plagiarise other people's work and commit fraud. Ashamed to be associated with such an obviously illegal business and to avoid prosecution Shapps operated the company under an assumed name - Mike Green. Despite this amateurish ploy which wouldn't fool anyone, Shapps has avoided prosecution. Why? Because he is the Chairman of the Tory party and is, therefore, immune. Have no doubt about it, Britain is one of the most corrupt countries in the world and would put many third-world tin pot dictatorships in the shade.