The News In Shorts
How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.
Showing posts with label Occupy Wall Street. New York. Democracy.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Occupy Wall Street. New York. Democracy.. Show all posts
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
Democracy Dismantled In New York.
In a raid conducted at night in the hope that the world wouldn't notice, the New York police, pictured above, have cleared the Wall Street protestors. We asked the Mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg, for his comments; "This is a purely temporary suspension of American's right to peaceful protest and, as such, democracy remains intact and unscathed. I have asked a few thousand heavily-armed riot police to clear Zuccotti Park in order for them to clean it. Similar suspensions of democratic rights have also occurred in Oakland, California and Portland, Oregan, but there is no connection between these events and were not undertaken at the behest of the finance industry - cross my heart and hope to keep my job." Meanwhile the United States has continued to protest at the lack of democracy in countries that have oil. "What is happening in Syria is disgusting," a Wall Street financier told our reporter. "We cannot have a bunch of towel-heads killing other towel-heads in the streets and disrupting oil supplies. Everyone should have the right to do as I tell them."
Friday, 14 October 2011
New York Mayor Decides Not To Destroy Democracy After All.
A plan to "clean" Zuccotti Park and effectively evict the "Occupy Wall Street" protestors has been scrapped after it emerged that the United States is still a democracy after all. We asked the Deputy Mayor of New York, Cas Holloway, for his comments; "Ok, we still live in a democracy and these people are merely exercising their constitutional right to peaceful assembly, but that's not the point is it? The rest of the United States might be democratic but Wall Street isn't and they have a God-given right to do whatever they please - even normal laws don't apply to them. So we've got a bit of an impasse situation ongoing so to speak. This democracy thing is becoming a bit inconvenient and we're all hoping that the Supreme Court might find some way to abolish it before it gets out of control. Personally I don't mind people choosing between competing millionaires in elections, but looking to influence policy? That's going too far. Americans didn't fight the War of Independence, the Civil War and World War II just to end up with representative government."
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