"Work Harder For Another Bedroom" Says MP

Yet another whey-faced bone-idle MP who has never done a real day's work in his life has decided to lecture working people about having too many bedrooms. Steve Webb himself stays at his one-bedroomed flat in London while representing his Bristol constituency at Westminister which, on the face of it, seems to indicate that he is a man of principle. However, the reason he stays in such a flat is because he sold his last flat for a nice fat profit, courtesy of the tax payer, while it was the taxpayer who also picked up the bill for the stamp duty involved. What Mr.Wbb has suggested is that those who lose out because of the bedroom tax should make up for it by working harder. Of course such considerations don't figure in his own budget arrangements since stealing public money means he doesn't pay for anything in the first place. Nor does it take into consideration that two thirds of the people affected by this tax are disabled or unemployed. We asked Mr.Webb for a comment; "I don't see what being unemployed or disabled has to do with it. They could always beg in the streets. This is all about fairness. Why should I, slumming it in my half-million pound one-bedroomed luxury apartment paid for by the taxpayer, have to subsidise some cripple through the taxes that I don't pay? Think of it from my point of view. When I'm slung out of Parliament for being a two-faced LibDem at the next election I'll be forced to sell my flat, pocket the profits and then return to Bristol without the benefit of an expense account. No wonder I'm depressed and forced to glum as much money out of the system as I can before I'm rumbled. The problem with all these cripples and unemployed scum is that they don't know what hard work is. I don't either, to be honest, but, then again, I don't have to do I? We're all in this together or, as I like to think of it, I'm all right Jack."

Tory Nutters Stymie Lords Reform.

In a tremendous display of circular reasoning and spurious excuses Tory right-wing backbenchers , which is most of them, have launched a bid to scupper House of Lords reform. Led by the likes of Nicholas Soames, grandson of Sir Winston Churchill, they are "appalled" by the idea that a lucrative little earner when they retire may be taken off them. Hiding behind various spurious arguments about "democracy," something which every one of them would like to dispense with, the Tory backbenchers are also hoping to hand their LibDem coalition partners, something else they'd like to dispense with, a crushing defeat. In their usual way the Tories are hell bent of derailing reform in order to serve their own selfish ends and are cynically trying to manipulate public opinion against a long-overdue assault on their privileges. Far better, they tell us, to maintain this hang-over from the Medieval period - after all the rest of us are merely peasants and should do as we're told by the great and the good.

LibDems Ready To Switch Sides.

Senior LibDems, having woken up to the fact that five years isn't all that long after all, have made an approach to Labour to see if their is any chance of redemption. They are now apparently interested in forming a "progressive" coalition with Labour after the next general election in order to undo all the vicious stupid things they've done while in coalition with the Tories. "Politics is a difficult business," a unnamed LibDem spokesman told our reporter, "especially when you've no principles left to bargain with. Still nothing ventured and all that. Given that we will be slaughtered in the next general election we've decided that the best thing to do is form our own opposition to ourselves. That should confuse the electorate sufficiently to allow some of us to survive. Failing that we can use the Murdoch strategy and tell everyone that we had no idea what the Tories were doing."