The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 9 August 2013

Jornalists Camp Out At Edinburgh Zoo.

Having spent half the summer camped outside the Lindo Wing waiting for the birth of the Royal baby and expelling copious amounts of hot air about nothing in particular, many Royal journalists are now rushing up the M6 in order to do exactly the same outside of Edinburgh Zoo. "We can hardly believe our luck," one breathless BBC reporter told the News In Shorts. "Much of what we do is money for old rope but this year has been a bonanza for us. First we had hours and hours of mindless rubbish about the Olympics, then hours and hours of mindless rubbish about an old lady being rowed down the Thames during the Jubilee, then hours and hours of mindless pap about the Royal birth and now the birth of a panda. Now, admittedly these are Chinese bears inconveniently located in some obscure Scottish town but, at the end of the day, its better than being sent to Afghanistan. We think this is a much better way to squander licence payer's money, especially with the police investigating possible fraud over the suspiciously large golden handshakes we've been giving each other recently. This should divert attention away from that nicely. We have many questions to ask the zoo keepers such as "What will you call the baby panda or pandas?" "Do you expect them to be black and white or white and black?" "Will they be taught English?" "What will the mother be wearing when she leaves the zoo?" Interesting stuff like that."

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